Why is it harder to get married the longer you live together

The longer the cohabitation time, the lower the probability of getting married, mainly due to factors such as the loss of novelty in the relationship, the manifestation of economic pressure, differences in marriage expectations, unresolved conflicts, and weakened social support.

1. The freshness of the relationship fades.

Long term cohabitation can easily lead to a dull period of intimate relationships, and daily trivialities can erode romantic passion. When partners become accustomed to each other's existence, the sense of urgency to propose decreases, and some people may default to cohabitation as an alternative mode of marriage. The theory of diminishing marginal effects in psychology can explain this phenomenon, where repeated exposure to the same stimulus leads to a weakened emotional response.

II. Explicit Economic Pressure

Living together concretizes economic contradictions such as consumption habits and savings concepts. Practical issues such as rent sharing and household division of labor may expose differences in values between the two parties, especially when one party experiences career fluctuations, economic insecurity can strengthen the fear of marital responsibilities. Empirical research shows that economic disputes are one of the main reasons for cohabiting partners to break up.

III. Differences in Marriage Expectations

Cohabitation partners may have fundamental differences in their understanding of marriage. Some people view cohabitation as a trial period for marriage, while others may see it as just an extension of their romantic relationship. This cognitive bias will expand over time, and when it comes to major issues such as childbirth and property, partners who have not reached a consensus are more likely to choose to maintain the status quo rather than advance their marriage.

Fourth, the accumulation of unresolved conflicts

Daily interaction can amplify conflicts in personality habits, and the lack of constraints from marriage contracts can cause some partners to avoid deep communication. Unlike the selective display during the romantic period, cohabitation will fully expose bad habits in daily life. If the conflict management ability is insufficient, accumulated resentment may lead to emotional exhaustion. Clinical observations have found that the probability of cohabiting partners experiencing cold violence for more than three years has significantly increased.

V. Weakened Social Support

The social identity gained from traditional marriage is relatively lacking in cohabitation relationships. The continuous pressure of family and friends to urge marriage may create a rebellious mentality, especially when married friends around them have family conflicts, which will strengthen doubts about the marriage system. Social psychology research suggests that the attitude of external support systems can significantly influence a partner's relationship decision-making.

For cohabiting partners who wish to enter into marriage, it is recommended to regularly review the relationship and set clear goals for emotional development stages. You can reignite your passion by traveling together, cultivating new hobbies, and establishing dedicated emotional communication time to deal with accumulated problems. In terms of economy, it is necessary to plan the savings and consumption ratio in advance, and seek professional guidance from marriage counselors when necessary. It is important to maintain sensitivity to each other's needs, avoid mistaking cohabitation inertia for emotional understanding, and rationally evaluate the consistency between both parties on long-term issues such as fertility views and elderly care planning.