Why get married and live for someone else

The core value of marriage lies in the individual's active choice of intimate relationships, rather than simply living for others. A healthy marital relationship should meet emotional needs, promote mutual growth, build a social support system, and maintain individual independence. Marriage is essentially a voluntary union between two independent individuals based on emotional resonance and alignment with life goals. On the level of emotional needs, humans naturally crave deep connections, and stable partner relationships can provide a sense of security and belonging. This psychological need satisfaction is part of self actualization. Emotional interactions in long-term intimate relationships can activate the brain's reward system, promote oxytocin secretion, and help alleviate stress and anxiety. Sociocultural factors do indeed have an impact on attitudes towards marriage and love, but simplifying marriage as a tool to please others is a cognitive bias. A mature marital relationship requires both parties to collaborate while respecting boundaries, jointly undertaking practical issues such as family responsibilities, economic planning, and children's education. This collaboration is essentially a mutually beneficial and win-win life experience. Research shows that an equal and supportive marriage model has a protective effect on physical and mental health, can reduce the probability of depression, and prolong life expectancy.

It is recommended to engage in systematic self-awareness when considering marriage: clarify the ranking of personal values, evaluate the balance of rights in the relationship, and establish effective communication mechanisms. Marriage should not be a vehicle for self sacrifice, but rather a pathway for nurturing individual growth through deep connections. Maintaining economic and mental independence, conducting regular relationship quality assessments, and seeking professional psychological counseling when necessary can all help avoid falling into the dilemma of living for others in a marriage.