Why do you not want to get married after living together for a long time

Living together for a long time without wanting to get married is a common phenomenon, mainly related to factors such as the solidification of relationship comfort, concerns about marriage costs, changes in emotional needs, reduced social pressure, and differences in future planning.

1. Stable Relationship Comfort

Long term cohabitation can easily form a stable lifestyle, and both parties have reached a tacit understanding in financial allocation, household chores, social boundaries, and other aspects. This low conflict state of coexistence can weaken the ceremonial value of marriage, and some people believe that legal contracts cannot bring additional emotional benefits, but may instead disrupt the existing balance. Especially after cohabiting for more than three years, partners' tolerance towards each other's lifestyle habits tends to become saturated.

2. Concerns about Marriage Costs

Modern marriage involves real pressures such as property purchase, children's education, and caring for the elderly, while cohabitation relationships have higher economic freedom. Some partners maintain financial independence through shared rental housing, AA based consumption, and other means, fearing that marriage may bring risks of property bundling. About 60% of long-term cohabitants in first tier cities delay their marriage due to the pressure of buying a house.

3. Changes in emotional needs

Contemporary young people pay more attention to the self actualization value in relationships. When cohabitation satisfies emotional companionship and physiological needs, the fertility driving function of traditional marriage is weakened. Some women voluntarily postpone their marriage due to career development, while men may maintain the status quo by avoiding family responsibilities. Research on intimate relationships shows that the quality of sexual life for partners who have lived together for more than five years is generally declining.

4. Reduction of social pressure

With the increasing social acceptance of non marital cohabitation, the pressure from family and friends to urge marriage has significantly decreased. Especially among the highly educated urban population, the proportion of people choosing to live together without marriage exceeds that of traditional marriage models. Some partners use behaviors such as keeping pets and buying houses together as a substitute for marriage symbols to gain identity recognition in social relationships.

5. Differences in Future Planning

When partners have differences in long-term goals such as childbirth, settling in cities, and career development, cohabitation becomes a buffer zone for avoiding decisions. In this type of relationship, it is common for one party to actively promote marriage while the other party procrastinates on the grounds that the timing is not ripe. Marriage counseling cases show that the failure rate of cohabitation to marriage conversion caused by such disagreements is the highest.

It is recommended that cohabiting partners regularly review their relationship and maintain emotional vitality through setting common life goals, trying new activities, and other means. If there is a conflict of values, seek help from a family therapist. Pay attention to maintaining financial transparency and negotiate potential property agreements in advance. For women with a strong desire to have children, it is recommended to evaluate fertility preservation plans such as egg freezing before the age of 35. Long term cohabitants should undergo a one-time health check and psychological counseling every year to adjust their relationship status in a timely manner.