Why do we experience insomnia when we first start dating

Insomnia at the beginning of a relationship is often caused by emotional excitement, psychological adaptation period, and changes in physiological hormones, and is common in the early stages of love.

1. Emotional excitement

In the early stages of love, the brain secretes a large amount of dopamine and phenylethylamine, which can produce pleasure but also interfere with sleep rhythms. Repeated memories of dating scenes and expectations for future relationships can continuously activate the brain's reward system, leading to difficulty falling asleep. Some people may experience physiological excitement such as accelerated heartbeat and active thinking, which usually subsides naturally after several weeks.

2. Psychological adaptation period

The establishment of a new intimate relationship requires a psychological adjustment process, and individuals may involuntarily evaluate their partner's compatibility and deal with uncertainty anxiety. When alone at night, it is easy to fall into overthinking about relationship progress, self-expression, and other aspects, which can prolong sleep time due to cognitive rumination. Some sensitive individuals may experience mild sleep maintenance disorders due to concerns about losing relationships.

3. Changes in sleep routine

Nighttime communication or dating between couples often disrupt their original sleep routine. Melatonin secretion is inhibited by factors such as nighttime screen blue light and delayed bedtime, and a delayed biological clock can cause a delay in falling asleep time. Continuous sleep deprivation may lead to daytime fatigue and emotional fluctuations, forming a vicious cycle.

Fourth, Hormonal Fluctuations

Sex hormone levels significantly increase after intimate contact, and fluctuations in testosterone and estrogen can affect sleep structure. Abnormal cortisol levels may lead to increased shallow sleep, manifested as shallow sleep and easy awakening. This physiological change will gradually return to baseline levels after the end of the honeymoon period.

V. Separation anxiety

Attachment system activation may lead to excessive longing for partners, and some individuals may experience insecurity due to brief separation. This emotional stress can stimulate amygdala activity, triggering physical symptoms similar to mild anxiety, including difficulty falling asleep or waking up early, which usually improve with stable relationships.

It is recommended to maintain a regular sleep schedule and avoid discussing emotional topics or stimulating activities two hours before bedtime. Excitement can be alleviated through mindfulness breathing exercises. Increase aerobic exercise during the day to expend excess energy, and avoid high sugar foods for dinner. If insomnia persists for more than a month or is accompanied by symptoms such as palpitations and changes in appetite, it is necessary to investigate the possibility of anxiety disorders or endocrine disorders. Physiological insomnia in the early stages of love usually does not require special intervention, and sleep quality can usually recover on its own after adapting to a new relationship.