Why can't I like my mother-in-law

Difficulty in developing a favorable impression of one's mother-in-law is a common interpersonal problem, usually related to psychological boundary conflicts, differences in role expectations, and in rare cases, may involve deeper family trauma. The mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship is essentially a non blood related forced intimate relationship, where both parties are labeled as mother daughter but lack emotional foundation due to their marriage. The mother-in-law may unconsciously see her son as an emotional support, and the appearance of the daughter-in-law disrupts the original family balance, triggering implicit competition. Differences in lifestyle habits are amplified into opposing values, for example, differences in parenting styles may be interpreted as a denial of the role of a mother. The traditional family power structure allows mothers in law to habitually control, and the younger generation pursues equality more. This intergenerational conflict can exacerbate oppositional emotions. There is a repetition of implicit trauma in some cases of SEP. If there is a controlling mother in the daughter-in-law's original family, the resistance towards the mother will be projected onto the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law's excessive dependence on her son may trigger childhood traumas in her daughter-in-law, such as experiences of neglect. The expectation of a perfect daughter-in-law in cultural scripts brings pressure, and self denial that cannot be achieved can turn into resentment towards the mother-in-law. Economic dependence or cohabitation and other practical factors can deprive psychological buffering space, allowing daily friction to continue to accumulate. Improving relationships requires establishing clear psychological boundaries, distinguishing between mother-in-law's actions that truly cross boundaries and those that only trigger one's own emotions. Try to view the mother-in-law as a collaborator rather than a mother, and jointly focus on the overall interests of the family. Record specific conflict events rather than general evaluations, and find negotiable compromise solutions. Couples need to establish an emotional connection independent of their original family, and the husband's coordinating role is crucial. If it cannot be relieved for a long time, family therapy can be sought for help, but there is no need to force intimacy, and maintaining a distance of mutual respect is also a reasonable choice.