What should I do if my girlfriend treats me as a spare tire

Being treated as a spare tire can be addressed through maintaining rational communication, clarifying relationship boundaries, evaluating emotional investment, focusing on self-worth, and seeking social support. The unequal status in emotions may be caused by factors such as lack of commitment, emotional dependence, and cognitive biases in values.

1. Maintain rational communication

Directly express confusion about the current relationship status, avoid blaming language, and use specific examples to illustrate the perceived neglect. Observing whether the other party is willing to adjust the interaction mode during communication, avoiding discussion or perfunctory attitude may indicate a lack of sincerity from the other party. Recording important conversation content helps with subsequent decision-making.

2. Clarify the boundary of the relationship

Stop unilateral excessive effort, reduce the frequency of contact to an equivalent level, and refuse requests that are readily available. When the other party makes vague demands, it is required to clarify specific demands and commitments. Establish physical distance or social platform interaction restrictions to prevent falling into a cycle of emotional blackmail.

3. Evaluate emotional investment

List the time and energy invested by both parties in the relationship within three months, and compare whether material and emotional investment are equal. Pay attention to whether the other party only actively contacts during emotional gaps or when they need help. Long term one-way investment will strengthen the understanding of the spare tire role, and we need to be vigilant about the impact of sunk cost effects.

4. Focus on self-worth

reallocate the time originally used to please others and invest in improving professional skills or developing hobbies. Establish a sense of social identity independent of this relationship through sports, socializing, and other means. Psychologically practice decoupling self-worth from feedback from others and reducing excessive focus on their social dynamics.

5. Seek social support

objectively describe relationship details to trusted friends and obtain third-party perspective evaluation. Participate in group counseling or emotional salons to understand the reciprocal characteristics of healthy relationships. If there is persistent depression and anxiety, professional psychological counseling can be considered to help rebuild emotional judgment criteria. In emotional relationships, it is necessary to maintain a moderate level of self-protection awareness and regularly reflect on whether the efforts of both parties are balanced. Develop independent thinking skills to avoid excessive reliance on a single emotional source, and establish a multidimensional support system that includes friends and family. When feeling consumed for a long time, consider temporarily interrupting contact and observing the other person's reaction for more than three weeks during a cooling off period, focusing on emotional repair and life reconstruction. A healthy relationship should promote mutual growth rather than unilateral exploitation.