The truth of marriage: whether a man loves you or not, at some point, he will still love himself more

The most heart wrenching truth in marriage: the person who says' I'll take care of you 'may be more interested in taking care of their gaming equipment. Recently, I have received many private messages from female readers asking the same question: "Does he love me or not?" In fact, the answer is hidden in the details of life - when his interests conflict with your needs, his choice is the best answer.

1. Three shining moments when men love themselves more

1. Game time is sacred and inviolable

You have a fever of 39 degrees and want to drink Congee. He is playing the key game: "Wait until I finish pushing this Bota". Research has shown that the amount of dopamine secreted by the male brain during concentration is twice that of females, which explains why they can selectively become deaf in emergency situations.

2. Brothers' gatherings always prioritize

Wedding anniversary and brothers' black clash period? 80% of men would choose the latter. This is not a lack of love, but rather a 37% stronger need for "group identity" in male social interactions than in females, just like the tribal instinct of primitive society.

3. When making economic decisions, consider yourself first.

You want to enroll in a yoga class, but he says, "Wait until Singles' Day to replace my graphics card. Neuroeconomics has found that when men spend money, the activation level of their brain reward areas is 20% higher than that of women, especially for electronic products.

2. It's not about not loving, but about human nature

1. Self preservation is a biological instinct

When faced with stress, the amygdala of the male brain reacts more violently. Just like how wild animals lick themselves first when they are injured, this is a survival mechanism engraved in their genes.

2. Different emotional processing methods

Women tend to confide, while men need more "cave time". Forcefully communicating at this point is like sending Apple commands to the Windows system.

3. Social roles are subtly influenced

From a young age, many men are taught that "men should not play lightly when they have tears", which leads them to equate their own needs with vulnerability and can only be satisfied in a hidden way.

3. Smart Women's Coping Strategies

1. Set a "selfish limit"

Give him 3 hours of exclusive gaming time per week, but other times must be on call. Just like a credit card, you have to pay a price when you use up the limit.

2. Establish an exchange mechanism

"You can go to the party, but accompany me to watch a play tomorrow." Harvard research shows that the execution rate of mutually beneficial agreements is 65% higher than unilateral demands.

3. Cultivate shared selfishness

by turning "I want" into "we want". For example, proposing to "switch to a game that can be played together" is more effective than banning gaming.

4. What is more important than changing him

1. Keep your "selfish right"

Always maintain the confidence of being able to watch movies alone and travel with girlfriends at any time. A follow-up survey by marriage experts found that moderately selfish women have a 40% higher satisfaction rate with their marriage.

2. Distinguish between "selfishness" and "self love"

He plays games for 2 hours to relax, but you spend 1 hour on skincare and become a spendthrift? Double standards are the killer of emotions.

3. Use observation as a mirror.

Record every "selfish moment" of him, and you will discover your own shadow - it turns out that we all love ourselves in different ways. Marriage is never about who belongs to whom, but about two independent souls walking together. The man who loves himself more may be teaching you in his own way: before loving others, you must first learn to treat yourself well. Remember, in a healthy marriage, selfishness should not be a one-way street, but a two-way self fulfillment.