The sign that your husband treats you as an outsider and not as a close relative is really chilling

The most chilling thing in marriage is to find that the person next to you always treats you as an 'outsider'. Those seemingly ordinary details often conceal the deepest sense of alienation. As a relative When there is a rift in a secret relationship, the body is more honest than language.

1. Five danger signals for financial isolation

1. The salary card is always kept independently [SEP], and the income situation is never actively mentioned. Major expenses are decided by oneself. You don't even know his exact salary amount, like two roommates sharing a room.

2. Deliberately deleting consumption records

Mobile bills are always cleared, and shopping receipts "happen to be lost". This excessive protection hides Private behavior often implies consumption that you don't want to know about.

3. Refuse joint financial planning

turns a deaf ear to the suggestion of establishing a family fund and insists on "each managing their own money". Data shows that couples with opaque finances have a 34% higher divorce rate.

2. Three manifestations of emotional isolation

1. Complete separation of social circles

Never take you to friends' gatherings, colleagues' gatherings are always "inconvenient". His life circle is like being locked with a password, and you never have access.

2. Major decisions are made independently.

Changing jobs, buying a house, and caring for parents These things that should have been discussed together, you are always the last to know. The feeling of being excluded from life planning is more hurtful than arguing.

3. Body language exposure distancing

Subconsciously avoiding physical contact, sleeping always back-to-back. Anthropologists have found that loving couples have an average of 12 unnecessary physical contacts per day.

III. abnormalities in the Division of Family Responsibilities

1. Consider household chores as your "exclusive"

"Isn't this what women should do? ”Behind such words is a dangerous mindset of instrumentalizing partners. A healthy marriage should not have a distinction between 'yours' and' mine '.

2. Stay away from your child's education

The parent teacher association is always yours, and you never participate in parent-child activities. This' widowed parenting 'model is essentially an escape from family responsibilities.

3. When faced with problems, first consider your family of origin.

Your mother-in-law's family is always on call, but when your parents are sick, they try their best to avoid it. Marriage counselors point out that such behavior is a typical manifestation of "not weaning".

4. How to rebuild kinship Confidential relationship

1. Establish a financial transparency mechanism [SEP]. It is not necessary to require the submission of salary cards, but at least it is necessary to understand the overall income and expenditure of the family. A monthly financial meeting can prevent money from becoming an emotional barrier.

2. Create a common social scene

Actively organize friend gatherings for couples to participate in and cultivate overlapping social circles. Common memories are the best glue for emotions.

3. Redefine family responsibilities

Develop a clear division of household chores, especially clear delineation of parenting responsibilities. Remember: Home belongs to two people, there should be no 'bystanders'. Marriage is like a duet, requiring constant adjustment of pace. When you find yourself always acting like an outsider in a relationship, perhaps you should reconsider whether this dance can continue. A good love should not be like walking on thin ice, but knowing that no matter when you turn around, you can see the other person's outstretched hand.