The fundamental reason for the strained relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

The fundamental reasons for the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law mainly include differences in intergenerational attitudes, conflicts in family roles, competition for emotional resources, improper communication methods, and differences in economic dominance.

1. Differences in Intergenerational Concepts

The differences in upbringing environment and historical background lead to a natural gap in values between two generations. The older generation places more emphasis on traditional family ethics and collectivism, while the younger generation tends to prioritize individual value realization and equal relationships. This difference can easily lead to opposition in daily affairs such as parenting styles and consumption concepts, for example, a mother-in-law may insist on experiential parenting while a daughter-in-law trusts scientific parenting guidelines more.

II. Family Role Conflict

In traditional family structures, the mother-in-law often plays an authoritative role, while modern nuclear families emphasize more on marital autonomy. When the mother-in-law tries to maintain the original family power structure, it conflicts with the independence of the small family that the daughter-in-law expects. The typical manifestation is that the mother-in-law excessively intervenes in the education of the children or interferes in the decision-making of the couple's life.

III. Competition for Emotional Resources

There is a competitive relationship between both parties regarding the emotional needs of male family members. Mothers may see their sons as emotional objects of attachment, while wives expect their husbands to prioritize their marital relationship. This kind of invisible competition can easily trigger jealousy, such as a mother-in-law feeling neglected due to her son's concern for her daughter-in-law.

4. Improper communication methods

Indirect communication and emotional expression can exacerbate conflicts. Some mothers in law tend to express their needs in a subtle way, while young daughters in law tend to communicate directly, leading to misunderstandings. Common behaviors such as passing messages through third parties and using complaints instead of expressing needs can lead to complex problems.

V. Divergence in Economic Dominance

Family economic control is a potential focal point of conflict. In traditional beliefs, the mother-in-law often holds the financial power of the family, while modern dual income families tend to be economically independent. In the case of shared living, economic issues such as sharing of living expenses and expectations of property inheritance can easily lead to ongoing disputes. Improving the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship requires establishing a clear sense of boundaries, and both parties should clarify their respective roles in the family and the original family. Regularly engage in candid but non blaming communication and establish mutually recognized family rules. The husband, as a key link, needs to actively coordinate and avoid favoring either party. Cultivating common interests helps to enhance understanding, such as participating in parenting or family activities together. If the conflict continues to escalate, professional family counseling assistance can be sought to resolve the accumulated grievances through a third-party perspective. The core lies in building a new model of family interaction based on respecting differences.