My mother-in-law feels particularly depressed at home

Feeling depressed living with a mother-in-law is a common psychological problem in families, often stemming from differences in lifestyle habits, blurred boundaries, or poor communication. Suppressing emotions may manifest as anxiety avoidance, physical discomfort, or intensified family conflicts, and long-term accumulation may affect marital relationships and mental health.

1. Conflict in lifestyle habits

Differences in sleep schedules, hygiene standards, or parenting philosophies between two generations can easily lead to friction. Grandma may retain traditional family values, while young people pay more attention to personal space. This collision can lead to a sense of oppression in daily details such as kitchen use and item storage for both parties. Attempt to establish basic rules for public areas and preserve their respective private domains.

2. Ambiguous role positioning

When a mother-in-law excessively intervenes in household decisions or parenting affairs, it is easy for her daughter-in-law to feel controlled. Some elders consider their son's family as an extension of their own family, and this boundary confusion can lead to confusion in the roles of family members. Clearly define the division of labor within the nuclear family, and the husband is responsible for mediation.

3. Improper communication methods

Implicit expressions and direct statement of needs can easily lead to misunderstandings. The traditional concept of elders' authority in culture may inhibit equal dialogue, while the silence and patience of daughters in law may lead to misunderstandings from mothers in law as tacit approval. Suggest using nonviolent communication formulas to express feelings and avoid using accusatory language.

4. Lack of emotional support

The absence of a husband in the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship can exacerbate the experience of depression. When male family members avoid the responsibility of mediation, women are more likely to fall into a state of isolation and helplessness. Establish an emotional sharing mechanism between spouses and regularly hold family meetings to discuss feelings.

5. Differences in values

Inter generational differences in consumer attitudes, social styles, and other factors can create hidden pressures. The frugal habits of the older generation may be misunderstood as interfering with financial freedom, and this cognitive bias requires both parties to enhance understanding through joint activities. Creating low-cost activities that involve three generations together helps to integrate values.

It is recommended to record specific events that trigger suppressed emotions, analyze the trigger points, and work with the husband to develop a solution. You can try to demarcate physical boundaries, such as designating each bedroom as a private space, and adjust psychological distance through regular outdoor activities. If you experience persistent insomnia or low mood, you can seek help from family psychological counseling. Short term separation does not mean relationship breakdown, sometimes spatial isolation can actually promote mutual understanding. Maintain moderate social activities to maintain personal mental health and cultivate shared interests with mother-in-law as an emotional buffer zone.