To get married, it is necessary to understand three things: the compatibility of partner values, preparation of economic foundation, and coordination of family relationships. Marriage is a long-term commitment, and sufficient communication and realistic assessment before marriage can reduce the probability of conflict after marriage.
1. Value Matching
Value differences are the underlying causes of marital conflicts. Before marriage, it is necessary to explore core issues such as reproductive concepts, consumption habits, and religious beliefs. Observe whether the response modes of both parties are compatible through joint travel or handling emergencies. Couples who have been separated for a long time are advised to seek premarital counseling, as professional psychological assessments can identify potential conflict points in their values.
2. Economic foundation preparation
Jointly developing financial plans is more important than deposit amounts. Clarify the management of post marital property and distinguish between necessary expenses and flexible consumption. Pre marital debts should be transparent and open, and it is recommended to retain emergency funds for more than six months. Newlywed families in first tier cities are advised to prepare for their living expenses, while those in second - and third tier cities need to consider reserving childcare funds.
III. Family Relationship Coordination
The degree of involvement of the original family directly affects the quality of marriage. Before marriage, boundary issues such as holiday arrangements and caregiving responsibilities should be clearly defined. Observing the interaction patterns of each other's relatives through family gatherings, it is recommended that partners with serious intergenerational conflicts undergo family therapy. Cross cultural marriage requires prior consultation on the integration of traditional customs.
It is recommended to undergo MBTI personality testing or attachment type assessment during the marriage preparation period to help identify potential communication barriers. Participating in cooking courses and other life skills training together can test daily collaboration skills. Regularly review emotional relationships and simulate typical conflict scenarios such as mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationships and children's education over a period of three months. Maintaining rational expectations, marriage requires both parties to continuously engage in emotional labor and adaptive adjustments.
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