If you want to date, then date. If you want to get married, then get married. Anyway, you will regret it

It is a common psychological phenomenon that if you want to date or get married, you will regret it anyway, reflecting people's conflicting attitudes towards intimate relationships. This phenomenon may be caused by factors such as idealized expectations, adaptation difficulties, social pressure, relationship burnout, and self-awareness bias.

1. Idealized Expectations

People often have overly idealized expectations for relationships in the early stages of love or marriage, viewing their partners as perfect partners. This cognitive bias stems from the portrayal of romantic relationships in film and television works or social culture, leading individuals to overlook the need for adaptation in reality. When a relationship enters a period of stagnation, the gap between ideals and reality can easily lead to feelings of regret.

2. Difficulty in adaptation

Transitioning from a single state to an intimate relationship requires adapting to new life patterns, including changes in time allocation, decision-making styles, and privacy boundaries. Some people find it difficult to adjust their own boundaries and feel constrained when they lose their personal space. This adaptation disorder often occurs within six months after the relationship is established, which may lead to avoidance or questioning.

3. Social pressure

The external environment's evaluation of marriage and love choices will strengthen regret psychology. Excessive attention from family and friends, peer comparison, or traditional beliefs can all lead individuals into self doubt. Especially in marriage decision-making, material pressures such as dowries and property may distort the original emotional motivation, leading to compensatory psychology after marriage.

4. Relationship Burnout

The natural decline of passion components in long-term relationships is a common pattern, and dopamine secretion levels usually significantly decrease after 18-36 months. When both partners fail to establish a deeper emotional connection in a timely manner, the accumulation of daily trivialities can amplify dissatisfaction, and this chronic consumption can easily lead to the loss of relationship value.

5. Self cognitive bias

Some people see intimate relationships as a way to solve personal problems and hope to fill their inner gaps through a partner. This projection mentality can cause individuals to overlook the parts of themselves that need to grow, and when relationships cannot provide sustained emotional value, it is easy to attribute it to choice errors rather than self-awareness limitations. Establishing sustainable intimate relationships requires maintaining a balance between rational cognition and emotional investment. Regular relationship review can help identify core needs, cultivate common interests and hobbies, and enhance emotional connections. Complete self exploration before making major decisions, clarify the internal driving forces and external influences in marriage and love motivations. When persistent negative emotions occur, professional psychological counseling can be sought to improve interaction patterns through concrete communication. Maintain moderate personal growth space and avoid placing all emotional needs in a single relationship.