Marriage is a major event in life. Do not hastily get married due to external pressure, avoidance of the status quo, age anxiety, material conditions, or blind conformity. Marriage needs to be built on emotional foundations, value recognition, and mutual growth, otherwise it may lead to long-term psychological conflicts and even relationship breakdowns.
1. External pressure
Pressure from parents urging marriage or public opinion often leads people to hastily enter into marriage. This passive choice can easily lead to difficulties in adapting to the role after marriage. When intimate relationships require active management, couples lacking intrinsic motivation may fall into a state of indifference or confrontation. It is recommended to clarify personal needs when facing pressure and clarify true intentions through family communication or psychological counseling.
2. Escaping the Current Situation
Attempting to escape from family problems, workplace difficulties, or loneliness through marriage is a dangerous motive. Marriage not only fails to solve existing psychological problems, but may also exacerbate anxiety due to the expectations of new partners and family responsibilities. When there is untreated psychological trauma, professional psychological intervention should be carried out before considering marriage.
III. Age anxiety
Marriage driven by circadian clock anxiety is prone to overlook core matching. The pressure of having children at an advanced age may lower one's standards for choosing a spouse, but issues such as differences in values and conflicting lifestyle habits after marriage will become more prominent over time. Age should not be an excuse to lower the quality of a relationship, and comprehensive premarital counseling can help to rationally evaluate the sustainability of the relationship.
Fourth, material conditions
Marriage chosen solely due to economic security lacks emotional buffer zones. When material conditions change, the utilitarian nature of relationships will be exposed, triggering a crisis of trust. Economic dependence may also lead to power inequality, and long-term suppression of real needs may result in psychological problems such as depression.
Fifth, blindly following the crowd
Rushing to imitate peers who get married is a typical social comparison psychology. This conformity behavior ignores individual differences and can easily lead to feelings of regret when marital life does not match expectations. A healthy view of marriage and love should be based on self-awareness, rather than simply comparing it with others' life progress.
It is recommended to conduct a systematic psychological assessment before deciding to get married, including intimate relationship testing, personality fit analysis, and marriage expectation management. You can learn about common marital conflict patterns, communication skills, and conflict resolution methods through premarital psychological counseling. Cultivating common interests and developing a family development plan can also help establish a solid foundation for marriage. If you are already in a problematic marriage, partner therapy is more beneficial for both parties' mental health than barely maintaining it. Remember, the core of a high-quality marriage is mutual nourishment rather than unilateral compromise.
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