Do you know how to communicate with your partner? Tips for communicating with your partner

Effective communication between partners is key to maintaining intimate relationships, and specific techniques can significantly improve the quality of communication. The main methods include establishing a safe expression environment, practicing nonviolent expression, adopting active listening, regular emotional review, and a pause mechanism when dealing with conflicts.

1. Creating a safe expression environment

Creating a non judgmental dialogue space is the foundation of communication. Choose a time when both parties are emotionally stable and use my words instead of yours to express your feelings, such as changing 'you always ignore me' to 'I need more attention'. Fixed communication corners can be set up in the physical environment, and electronic devices can be turned off to reduce interference. When one party adopts a defensive posture, timely use physical contact such as hugs to reduce tension.

2. Nonviolent expression

distinguishes between observation and evaluation when communicating, describing specific behaviors rather than personality traits. Transforming your laziness into the anxiety caused by clothes piling up on the sofa in the past three days. When expressing needs, use the four element template: when XX situation occurs, I feel XX, I need XX, would you be willing to XX? Avoid using absolute words such as always, never, etc., and set a 15 second buffer period for negative emotions before speaking.

3. Actively Listen

Maintain a focused posture such as leaning forward and making eye contact while listening, and provide feedback in language such as' um 'and' I'm listening '. Retell the core content of the other party to confirm understanding, for example, you just said that you were very disappointed when your overtime was missed, right. Describing emotions rather than solving problems during empathy, it's better to say that being stood up does indeed make people feel wronged than not feeling sad. Avoid interrupting or rushing to give advice, allow 10 seconds of silence for the other person to organize their thoughts.

4. Emotional Review

Set a 30 minute emotional communication time every week, using the structure of our recent XX events that make me feel XX to share my feelings. Quantify this week's relationship satisfaction using tools such as emotional thermometers and discuss the reasons for score changes. Regularly review communication improvement points, such as pausing for 20 minutes during the last argument, which had a good effect. Establish a gratitude diary habit and record three subtle actions that the other person deserves gratitude for.

5. Conflict pause mechanism

stipulates that when one party makes a T-shaped gesture, the argument immediately stops and each party remains calm for twenty minutes. During the pause, engage in soothing activities such as deep breathing or walking to avoid ruminating negative thoughts. Before resuming the conversation, reiterate the foundation of our relationship with our common goal of XX. Set a conflict resolution timer, and if the timeout is not successful, postpone the discussion until another day. Significant differences can be addressed through written communication to reduce emotional interference.

Daily reading of books on nonviolent communication can enhance cognition, and experience each other's perspectives through role-playing games. The quality of communication is not related to the duration, and 15 minutes of deep communication per day is better than two hours of absent-minded companionship. Regularly experiencing new things can inject topics into communication, such as learning dance together or attending a two person psychological workshop. When communication deadlocks repeatedly occur, seeking professional help such as partner counseling can be considered. Remember that effective communication is a continuous practice process, and the accumulation of small improvements can lead to significant changes in relationships.