Crossing over better couples does not rely on love or money

Do you think those couples who have been married for ten years and can still walk hand in hand rely on passionate love? Or is it the number in the bank card? The latest data from the Civil Affairs Bureau shows that the password for preserving marriage is hidden in three unexpected details.

1. It is more important to "argue" than not to argue

1. The golden ratio of healthy arguments

Psychologists have found that marriages are most stable when every 5 positive interactions offset 1 conflict. The key is not about not arguing, but about how to end it.

2. Install a safety valve on emotions

agree on a "pause button" code, where when one party says a specific word, both parties immediately stop arguing. This buffering period can help the amygdala calm down.

3. Replace the accusation with "my statement".

Replace "you always litter socks" with "I feel a little anxious when I see socks on the ground". An experiment conducted by the University of Pennsylvania showed that this expression increased the speed of conflict resolution by 60%.

2. Sharing a sense of small ceremony

1. Exclusive 3-minute time per day

can be clinking coffee cups in the morning or applying hand cream to each other before bedtime. Neuroscientists have confirmed that these small rituals can continuously stimulate dopamine secretion.

2. Create common memory points

Regularly go to a noodle restaurant every month to eat signature noodles, and take photos under the same tree every year. Familiar scenes will activate the hippocampus and strengthen emotional connections.

3. Cultivate small skills for two people

From dancing together to jointly raising potted plants. A study by the University of Chicago found that synchronized movements promote the production of oxytocin, which is a natural precursor Sealing agent.

3. Allow each other to "be children"

1. Reserve the right to be childish

Play with bubble guns and grab ice cream together. Marriage therapists have found that couples who can play freely have easier relationships.

2. Establish a safe roast area

to set a special time for roast. You can complain about the way the other party squeezes toothpaste, but you must give a hug after the end. This special sense of security can lower defense mechanisms.

3. Create unexpected surprises

Suddenly push the other person into the supermarket shopping cart or make a funny face in the elevator. Unpredictable happiness stimulates the brain to release endorphins.

Those golden wedding elders often say 'marriage should be managed', but in fact, what they manage is not romance, but the tacit understanding hidden in the folds of life. When you can face each other's quirks with a smile and openly share your most childish thoughts, marriage has its own vitality. Try implementing one of the small methods tonight, and you will find that happiness doesn't need to be earth shattering.