Couples are bound to argue when they are together. This reflects the unity of contradictions

Couples may indeed argue when they are together, but this does not necessarily reflect contradictory identity, but rather a common mode of interaction in interpersonal relationships. Quarrels may be caused by communication differences, conflicting needs, pressure transfer, differences in values, and different ways of expressing emotions. Healthy arguments can promote problem-solving, but frequent conflicts require vigilance against imbalanced relationships. Communication differences are a common reason for couples to argue. Both parties have different growth environments, and there are natural differences in language habits and expression methods, which can easily lead to misunderstandings. For example, one party tends to express dissatisfaction directly, while the other tends to avoid conflicts, which may lead to disputes. It is recommended to reduce information errors and avoid escalating communication issues into personal attacks by actively listening and retelling the other party's viewpoints.

Demand conflicts often hide beneath surface disputes. When one party desires companionship while the other needs solitude, unmet needs can erupt in the form of arguments. Identifying core needs is more important than debating right or wrong, and one can try to develop a compromise solution that meets the basic needs of both parties, such as agreeing to spend time alone before sharing intimate moments. External pressure transfer can easily lead to angry arguments. Negative emotions caused by work pressure or family problems may be unconsciously vented to partners. This kind of argument is usually accompanied by overreaction and often comes with regret afterwards. Establishing a stress warning mechanism, such as agreeing to pause discussions on sensitive topics when one party is feeling down, can effectively block the chain of emotional transfer. Disputes caused by differences in values are the most challenging. Deep differences in consumer and parenting concepts are difficult to resolve through simple compromises. This type of conflict requires both parties to clarify core principles and adjustable areas, and seek innovative solutions while respecting differences. If necessary, seek professional marriage and love counseling to help sort out the value ranking. The misalignment of emotional expression can exacerbate conflicts. Different attachment types lead to some people seeking attention through arguments, while others remain silent due to fear and conflict. Understanding each other's emotional language and establishing safe expression rules, such as not mentioning breaking up during scheduled arguments and giving emotional buffering time, can transform destructive arguments into constructive conversations. Moderate arguments can contribute to the healthy development of relationships, but attention should be paid to conflict frequency and resolution efficiency. It is recommended that couples establish post conflict healing rituals, such as embracing and reconciling, and jointly analyzing the root causes of their arguments. Regularly conduct relationship satisfaction assessments, and seek timely psychological counseling when arguments continue to affect quality of life or are accompanied by verbal violence. Cultivating common interests and hobbies, maintaining moderate personal space, and learning nonviolent communication skills can effectively reduce destructive conflicts.