Why do children not listen after entering junior high school

Not listening to children after entering junior high school is a common phenomenon in adolescent psychological development, mainly related to factors such as increased independence, deepening peer influence, increased academic pressure, changes in hormone levels, and lagging parent-child communication patterns.

1. Increased independent consciousness

The middle school stage is an important milestone for children's psychological weaning period. With the improvement of abstract thinking ability, they will confirm their self-worth by questioning authority. At this stage, children will deliberately refute their parents' views and use confrontational behavior to prove that they are no longer dependent. Parents need to understand that this is a necessary process for personal growth and avoid using a suppressive attitude to escalate conflicts.

2. Deepening peer influence

Adolescent children's social identity needs significantly increase, and the values of peer groups often surpass parental influence. When children imitate their classmates' clothing and use internet slang, it is essentially seeking a sense of belonging to the group. Parents should pay attention to the quality of their children's social circle rather than simply prohibiting them from socializing.

3. Increased academic pressure

The sudden increase in difficulty of junior high school courses can easily lead to adaptation barriers, and some children may transfer pressure through negative confrontation. Manifested as refusing to discuss learning situations, delaying completion of assignments, etc. This situation requires identifying specific learning difficulties rather than attributing them to attitude issues.

4. Hormonal level changes

Hormonal fluctuations during adolescence can temporarily reduce emotional regulation ability, and delayed development of the prefrontal cortex makes it more difficult for children to control impulses. Symptoms such as irritability and restlessness caused by physiological factors require parents to respond with more stable emotions.

5. Delayed parent-child communication mode

Many parents still continue the command based communication in primary school, which is seriously mismatched with the psychological needs of middle school students. I suggest using nonviolent communication techniques instead of your information blaming method, such as changing your phone usage to 'I'm worried that prolonged screen time will affect your vision'. Improving parent-child relationships requires establishing new interactive models, where parents can regularly organize family meetings to involve their children in decision-making and jointly develop specific rules for electronic device usage. Maintain a focused listening time of at least 15 minutes per day and avoid preaching at the dining table. Pay attention to the child's interests and rebuild emotional connections through activities such as joint exercise and watching movies. If there are persistent confrontational or emotional disorders, it is recommended to seek professional psychological counseling support. At this stage, companionship requires more patience and understanding that rebellion is a special language for children to mature.