Is the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law a factor leading to divorce? What should be done if mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict occurs

Disagreement between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be one of the factors leading to divorce, but it is not absolute. The tense relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be caused by differences in lifestyle habits, conflicting parenting concepts, blurred emotional boundaries, economic conflicts, and intergenerational value differences. Improvement can be achieved through establishing communication mechanisms, clarifying family roles, seeking third-party mediation, cultivating common interests, and setting reasonable expectations.

1. Differences in Lifestyle Habits

Differences in lifestyle habits between two generations can easily lead to daily friction, such as sleep schedules, hygiene standards, or dietary preferences. Suggest expressing needs through non critical communication, preserving reasonable living spaces, and establishing mutually recognized basic norms in public areas. The key is to avoid elevating habit differences to personality evaluations.

2. Conflict of Parenting Concepts

Intergenerational differences in educational concepts are a common focal point of contradiction, and traditional experience and modern scientific parenting methods are prone to conflict. The principle of child rearing division of labor can be established, clarifying that parents are the first responsible persons and elders assist in respecting the decisions of the main caregivers within the scope of assistance. Regularly holding family meetings to synchronize educational goals can reduce misunderstandings.

3. Blurred emotional boundaries

Excessive intervention in children's marital life can undermine the independence of the marital relationship. It is necessary to establish a physical and psychological boundary between the nuclear family and the original family, and the husband should take on the role of a mediator to avoid putting the wife directly under pressure from the in laws. Important family decisions must be based on the consensus of both spouses.

4. Economic Conflict

Opacity in financial transactions can breed suspicion, and it is necessary to distinguish between the obligation to support and the economic autonomy of small families. It is recommended to establish a clear financial plan, reach an agreement between the couple before receiving large subsidies, and adopt a regular fixed amount for daily support. Avoid linking economic support with family discourse power.

5. Intergenerational value differences

The collision between traditional filial piety and modern equality concepts needs to be reconciled. Emotional connections can be created through family activities to find the intersection of values. Understand the social background of intergenerational differences and replace abstract conceptual debates with concrete behaviors, such as using regular visits to replace debates on filial piety standards. Improving the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires systematic adjustment. Couples should prioritize maintaining their marital alliance, and husbands should take the initiative to assume the role of a buffer zone. Establish a non confrontational communication mode, replace emotional accusations with specific behavioral agreements, and seek professional family counseling in case of major disagreements. Regularly organize family activities involving three parties to cultivate emotional accounts, while maintaining appropriate physical distance. Be careful not to attribute mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issues solely to personal moral defects, but rather as a family system issue that needs to be addressed together. If the conflict has seriously affected the quality of marriage, it is recommended to undergo structured family therapy with the assistance of a psychological counselor.