How should parents guide children who lack confidence

Parents can guide children who lack confidence through positive encouragement, cultivating interests, establishing a sense of security, moderate letting go, and leading by example. Lack of confidence may be caused by factors such as overprotection, negative evaluations, lack of successful experiences, suppressed family environment, and social setbacks.

1. Actively encourage

to pay more attention to children's small progress in daily life and use specific events instead of general praise. For example, when a child completes a puzzle independently, it can be said that you were very focused on trying different spellings just now, and this persistence is great. Avoid using hollow evaluations like 'you are really smart', and instead emphasize the process of effort. When a child fails, help analyze the reasons instead of blaming, such as discussing how to reinforce the base after a building block collapses. Set up a small goal reward wall every week, and stick star stickers after completing simple tasks such as reading and household chores.

2. Cultivate Interest

Observe children's spontaneous preferences for activities such as painting, sports, or music, and provide basic resource support. Choose entry-level projects with low entry barriers, such as water-based pens, skipping rope, or ukuleles, to avoid the pressure of early professional training. Encourage children to showcase their works or performances when participating in community parent-child activities, and they can be accompanied to participate in the initial stage. Record the skill growth during the development of interests, and compare the specific changes in drawing lines or skipping rope after six months to help children intuitively feel their growth.

3. Establish a sense of security

Set a fixed 15 minute exclusive companionship time every day, and fully devote yourself to parent-child reading or board games. Establish clear family rules, such as apologizing for mistakes without losing love. When children talk about conflicts in kindergarten, empathize first and then guide them. I know it's hard to be rejected, so tomorrow I can try chatting with children who like dinosaurs. Avoid correcting children in front of others and interrupt them with coughing instead of publicly criticizing table manners. Regularly hold family meetings to involve children in deciding simple matters such as weekend activities.

4. Moderately let go

Allocate tasks within one's ability according to age, tidy up toy baskets at the age of 3, and prepare clothes for the next day at the age of 6. Encourage children to pay for small items while shopping to gradually develop decision-making skills. Minor mistakes such as dirtying clothes or spilling water bottles are allowed within a safe range, and they should be cleaned up together afterwards. Provide a two choice option before going out, such as a red or blue kettle, to enhance the choice. When a child asks for help, first ask what you think can be done and give hints instead of directly solving the problem.

5. Lead by example

When facing work difficulties, I can honestly share that my mother's plan was rejected, but I have prepared a new plan. Visualize and post personal goals such as fitness and learning, and invite children to supervise check-in. When encountering neighborhood conflicts, demonstrate friendly communication. Auntie spoke loudly just now because she was anxious, and we have already made it clear. Avoid negative self-evaluation and change my weakness in mathematics to 'we are slowly improving'. Regularly discuss with children the lessons learned from failures, such as controlling the heat after the last barbecue burn.

Parents should pay attention to avoiding three common misconceptions: first, frequently comparing their children with others; second, outsourcing instead of depriving them of opportunities to try; and third, emotionally treating withdrawal behavior. A growth record book can be established to collect works, certificates, and moments of progress, and reviewed together with children every quarter. Eating foods rich in tryptophan, such as bananas and oats, can help maintain emotional stability. Arrange regular outdoor activities such as park treasure hunting games to relieve stress through natural contact. If there is no improvement in the long-term or accompanied by behaviors such as refusing to go to school, it is recommended to seek professional child psychological assessment. Maintain patience during the parenting process, and most children will gradually build confidence in a continuously accepting environment.