In interpersonal communication, understanding the psychological needs of the other person is often more important than superficial behavior. Those seemingly difficult to approach "defenses" are actually a natural reaction of everyone to protect themselves. The key to truly entering someone's heart is to understand these psychological codes.
1. Sense of security is the primary line of defense
1. Stable emotional output
Maintaining a calm attitude is more reassuring than sudden enthusiasm. Research has shown that individuals with stable emotions are more likely to gain the trust of others.
2. Moderate spatial respect
Do not excessively inquire about privacy Private, give enough alone time. Psychology has found that preserving 30% of personal space can enhance relationship comfort.
2. Value recognition is the key breakthrough point
1. Discover unique shining points
Sincerely praise the other person's strengths that they have not even noticed. For example, 'Your taste in choosing coffee is very unique' is more heartfelt than general praise.
2. Support niche hobbies
Show interest in obscure books or music that she likes. This sense of identification will quickly bring the psychological distance closer.
3. Emotional resonance is the most touching
1. Understand the sound outside the words
When she says "it's okay", she may need a listening ear even more. Women have more developed language regions in their brains, often expressing their needs through suggestion.
2. Remember life details
accidentally mentioned her hobbies that she casually mentioned three months ago. This feeling of being valued can be directly triggered Emotional center.
4. Establish deep connections
1. Share fragile moments
Properly showcase one's imperfect side. The "embarrass effect" in psychology suggests that small flaws actually increase affinity.
2. Create a shared memory
Completing a small task together is more meaningful than giving a valuable gift. The brain produces special markers for shared experiences. The depth of the SEP relationship does not lie in how many defenses are breached, but in whether one is willing to take the time to understand the significance of these defenses. True spiritual closeness often occurs when both people feel safe. Maintain sincerity and patience, and you will find that those seemingly solid defenses are actually bridges to your heart.
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