When queuing at the entrance of the Civil Affairs Bureau, they are still discussing what to eat for the night. Don't laugh, this may be a true portrayal of 90% of newlywed couples. The difficult to talk about topics before marriage often become the trigger for conflicts after marriage. Instead of struggling with divorce agreements in the future, it's better to clarify these three issues now.
How to spend money without hurting emotions?
1. Transparency of income distribution
Should salary cards be merged? How to share the mortgage? Suggest listing monthly fixed expenses and sharing them proportionally based on income. A survey on marriage and love shows that 73% of marital conflicts stem from economic issues.
2. Consumer Attitudes Difference Test
Try to write down the "most unacceptable consumption behavior" for each individual. Some people think that recharging games doesn't matter, while others spend the final prize for buying bags. Discovering these differences in advance can avoid the "bill shock" after marriage.
3. Consensus on Emergency Funds
Who will pay for parents' illness? What should I do if I suddenly lose my job? Establish a family risk fund with an amount that covers at least three months of living expenses. Remember, talking about money is not about calculation, but about responsibility for the future.
2. The issue of children is not about "letting nature take its course"
1. Childbirth schedule
Should we prepare for pregnancy immediately after marriage or prioritize our career? According to data from the Maternal and Child Health Hospital, the divorce rate in the first year after childbirth is 2.3 times higher than usual, and many conflicts stem from asynchronous birth plans.
2. Parenting Division List
Who is responsible for breastfeeding in the middle of the night? Who takes leave when the child is sick? The specific details of 'taking the child to the amusement park several times a week' are much more practical than just talking about 'raising together'.
3. Collision of Educational Concepts
Should I enroll in five interest classes or enjoy education? Suggest writing down the three most important educational principles for each individual, with the overlapping part being the basic framework for future parenting guidelines.
III. Distinguishing Health Boundaries from Native Families
1. Holiday Allocation Plan
Who should I go to during the Spring Festival? Prepare a three-year rotation schedule in advance. A certain emotional counseling machine According to statistics, 35% of marital disputes stem from holiday arrangements.
2. Parents interfere with the bottom line
Whose do you listen to when decorating? Who decides the name of the child? It is necessary to clarify the iron rule that the final decision-making power of small family affairs belongs to both husband and wife.
3. How much money is reasonable to give to parents for the standard of alimony? It is recommended to establish standards based on local living standards and reserve 10% of flexible space.
Couples who think "asking these questions is too realistic" should pay attention: marriage is already the most realistic romance. By turning these topics into in-depth conversations during a candlelight dinner, you will thank your candid selves now. Remember, asking a clear question before marriage is equivalent to avoiding ten arguments after marriage. What we dare not talk about now will become an unimaginable minefield in the future.
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