Women who initiate contact after breaking up are actually these 5 cautious thoughts

When my ex suddenly sends a message after breaking up and the phone screen lights up, will my heartbeat miss half a beat? In the emotional world of adults, actively contacting someone is never a random behavior, and there is a psychological code behind it that even the person involved may not be aware of.

1. Testing the emotional water level

1. Exploratory baiting

is like putting a thermometer into warm water. Those late night shared song links or sudden holiday blessings are essentially measuring your emotional response. Psychologically, it is called "relationship detection", which observes whether the other person still retains emotional connection points through small interactions.

2. Confirming self-worth

When a new relationship falls short of expectations, the brain will reflexively search for a familiar sense of security. The level of response from the ex directly forms the support for self-identity, and this connection often carries the implicit question of 'Do I still have attraction?'.

2. Dealing with Unfinished Emotions

1. Expressing Regret

Apologizing or thanking someone who hasn't spoken out during a breakup can be like a fishbone stuck in the throat. Research has found that humans have a tendency towards unfinished tasks The memory intensity of a task is stronger than that of a completed task The case is 40% higher, which is why some people suddenly explain their misunderstandings six months after breaking up.

2. Emotional withdrawal symptoms

After becoming accustomed to living with someone, suddenly being alone can cause withdrawal symptoms in the brain, similar to quitting smoking. The "Did you sleep?" posted at 3am may just be a protest from the dopamine system, which usually occurs during the habit forgetting cycle 21-28 days after a breakup.

3. Building a New Relationship Model

1. Downgrading to Friend Status

Some people try to put their romantic relationships into the framework of friendship and continue to preserve them, just like replacing red wine with a wine decanter. But it should be noted that this conversion requires both parties to adjust the expected value synchronously, otherwise it is easy to fall into a fuzzy zone.

2. Obtain Specific Support

Knowing that you are skilled in repairing computers or analyzing workplace issues, some connections are purely pragmatic. In this situation, the topic will be clearly limited to specific affairs, and the communication pace will exhibit a business like characteristic.

IV. Comparison of Implementation Relationships

1. New When the current member of the Happy Reference Group

is not considerate enough, they will subconsciously compare themselves to their ex, and this kind of connection often carries a sense of comparison. The frequent occurrence of the hypothetical sentence pattern 'Would you now...' in the conversation is essentially collecting comparative samples.

2. Verification of Life Status

The implicit meaning of sharing fitness or work achievements is "I live better without you", which usually appears in conjunction with carefully designed dynamic moments on social media, forming a complete psychological display chain.

V. Potential Reserve

1. Reserve Future Options

Like depositing a current account in an emotional bank, occasional contact is equivalent to interest settlement. This strategic interaction will maintain an appropriate frequency, neither cooling down the relationship nor becoming overly enthusiastic.

2. environmental changes trigger

Work transfer to the same city or marriage of mutual friends, external variables can become a reasonable excuse to restart contact. This type of contact often starts with sharing objective information and gradually tentatively extends the topic. The heart of an adult is like a winter blanket, wanting to go back as soon as they leave. But the true demands behind each connection need to be observed with a magnifying glass in a specific context. When the message prompt sounds again, why not ask yourself: Is your heart beating or is your memory flashing?