Why does the more you pour out your heart and lungs, the more indifferent and heartless the other person becomes?

Have you ever had such an experience? Despite dedicating oneself wholeheartedly to a friend, the other person becomes increasingly indifferent; Staying up late to help a colleague revise the plan, but the other party didn't even say thank you; Frugality in buying gifts for a partner only to receive perfunctory responses. The experience of "hot face sticking cold fart. stock" is even more heart chilling than drinking iced American in winter.

1. Why is it that the more you give, the less you are valued?

1. Overgiving disrupts the balance of relationships.

Healthy interpersonal relationships require both parties to maintain them together. When one party keeps giving while the other continues to accept, this imbalance can cause psychological pressure on the recipient. Just like a seesaw game, one person always hangs in the air, and the other person also finds it boring.

2. The law of diminishing marginal effects

The marginal effects in economics also apply to interpersonal relationships. The first time you receive a surprise gift, you may be moved, but the tenth time you may become accustomed to it. Continuous high-intensity efforts can actually create a sense of entitlement in the other party.

3. Self value projection bias

Many people prove their value by paying, which can easily make the other person feel burdened. True affection Secret relationships do not require excessive payment to maintain, and equal and natural interactions are actually more comfortable.

2. How to Establish a Healthy Giving Model

1. Set a Reasonable Bottom Line for Giving

Before helping others, ask yourself three questions: Is this within my ability? Does the other party really need help? Do I expect a return? Clear boundaries can prevent excessive consumption of oneself.

2. Cultivate the technique of "intermittent reinforcement"

The theory of intermittent reinforcement in psychology shows that irregular rewards are more effective in maintaining behavior than fixed rewards. Occasional surprises are more precious than daily efforts.

3. Develop diverse value support

Do not base your self-worth solely on feedback from others. Cultivate interests and hobbies, expand social circles, and make one's life more colorful. When your world becomes bigger, you won't be fixated on the gains and losses of a certain relationship.

3. Identify the danger signals of consumptive relationships

1. Unilateral emotional output

If you are always actively contacting, finding topics, and solving problems, and the other party is rarely proactive, the relationship may have become imbalanced. A healthy relationship should be like playing table tennis, having a back and forth is fun.

2. Negative emotions after giving

Helping others should be a happy thing. If you often feel wronged, angry, or exhausted, it means that this effort has become a burden.

3. The other party's aggressive behavior

When your concession is not rewarded with gratitude but with more demands, this is a clear warning sign. People who truly care about you will not take your efforts for granted. The relationship between people is like a warm stove in winter, it requires maintaining an appropriate distance to feel the warmth. Getting too close can cause burns, while getting too far can make you feel cold. Learning to find a balance between giving and self-protection is the key to maintaining a long-lasting relationship. Remember, your sincerity is precious and should be left to those who know how to cherish it.