Have you ever noticed that in relationships, you always unconsciously want to take care of the other person? Although I am also very tired, I cannot help but worry about him/her. This kind of '; Caring Personality "; Behind it, there are many unknown psychological codes. Today we're going to talk about why you always play the role in your relationships; Caregivers "; The role.
1. Taking care of others is actually a psychological need
1. The way to gain a sense of value
Proving one's worth by taking care of others is a subconscious behavior of many people. When you see the other person happy because of their efforts, you will feel a strong sense of satisfaction in your heart.
2. Psychological defense against fear of loss
Some people believe that; Only by constantly giving can one be loved; This idea often stems from early insecure attachment. Maintaining a relationship by taking care of the other person is actually relieving inner insecurity.
3. Another expression of control desire
Overtaking can sometimes be an invisible form of control. By caring about every detail, we ensure that the relationship develops in the direction we expect.
2. Possible Problems of Overtaking
1. Relationship Imbalance
One party keeps giving while the other passively accepts, which can lead to an imbalance in relationship dynamics in the long run. Healthy emotions require bidirectional flow.
2. Self Neglect
Focusing all energy on taking care of others can easily lead to neglecting one's own needs and feelings. This self sacrifice may ultimately lead to emotional breakdown.
3. Other party's stress
Excessive concern can actually make the other party feel suffocated and stressed, and even develop a sense of avoidance. Love requires moderate space and freedom.
3. How to establish a healthier way of getting along
1. Be aware of your own motivation
Every time you want to take care of someone, ask yourself: Am I doing this out of love or fear? Does the other party really need it, or do I need it myself?
2. Practice expressing needs
Try saying "; I am very tired today and need to rest; 、 " I hope you can help me with this matter;. Practice expressing your needs from a young age.
3. Set reasonable boundaries
Clearly define what you are willing to do and what you are unwilling to do. Healthy love is not an unconditional commitment.
4. Cultivate mutual growth
Shift attention from; Taking care of each other; Turning "; Growing together;. Try new things together, encourage and support each other.
5. Accept imperfection
allows for imperfect moments in the relationship, without the need to personally handle everything. Sometimes; Good enough; That's enough. Love is not a one-sided competition of effort, but a resonance that arises when two complete people meet. When you learn to take care of others while also taking care of yourself, you will find that relationships become more relaxed and comfortable. Remember, the best relationship state is: I can love you, but I don't have to lose myself.
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