When a man values face more than his lover

When men prioritize their face over their loved ones, it usually reflects their psychological defense mechanisms or rigid perceptions of social gender roles. This behavior may be caused by factors such as the need for self-esteem compensation, internalization of traditional gender concepts, emotional expression disorders, power struggles in relationships, and influence from the family of origin. It needs to be improved through self-awareness and effective communication.

1. Self esteem compensation needs

Some men may compensate for psychological deficiencies by maintaining external face due to internal inferiority or achievement anxiety. This type of behavior is often accompanied by excessive sensitivity to others' evaluations, compromising the needs of partners to shape social images, which may stem from childhood experiences of neglect or devaluation. Partners can try to affirm their intrinsic value in non conflict situations and gradually reduce their dependence on surface recognition.

II. Stereotyping of Gender Roles

Traditional society's stereotypical definition of masculinity can easily lead some men to equate face with masculinity. This kind of cognition can lead to avoidance of showing weakness in intimate relationships, and even maintain an authoritative image at the expense of sacrificing the feelings of their partner. Deconstructing gender stereotypes requires educational guidance to establish healthier gender role cognitive patterns.

III. Emotional expression disorders

Men with insufficient emotional expression abilities may use face as a defense tool for emotional isolation. When faced with conflicts, prioritizing behaviors that meet social expectations over sincere communication is essentially a manifestation of fear of intimate relationships. Emotional diary practice and nonviolent communication training can help improve this coping pattern.

Fourth, Relationship Power Dynamics

In imbalanced intimate relationships, face may become a means of control. By emphasizing external evaluation criteria, one party can force their partner to obey their dominant position. This situation requires setting clear boundaries and seeking partner counseling to renegotiate the distribution of power in the relationship if necessary.

V. Influence of Native Family

Growing up in a family environment that emphasizes external image, individuals unconsciously replicate their parents' relationship patterns. For example, if a father handles family conflicts in an authoritative manner for a long time, it may lead to children mistakenly associating face with the way they handle relationships. Psychological counseling from the perspective of family systems can effectively break this intergenerational transmission. Improving this situation requires joint participation from both parties. The neglected party should clearly express their emotional needs rather than blame, emphasizing the impact of specific actions rather than personality denial. The proactive party needs to cultivate emotional granularity and distinguish between social expectations and real needs. Regularly review relationships and establish new interactive rituals to replace face saving behaviors. If necessary, they can receive intimate relationship counseling together and learn healthy conflict resolution strategies. In the long run, cultivating common interests and creating equal decision-making opportunities can gradually reshape the value ranking in relationships.