When a man is hot and cold to you, he is actually implying that this is happening

My best friend suddenly dropped her phone on the desk in the office, and on the screen was a WeChat dialogue box that hadn't been replied to for three days. She gritted her teeth and said, 'Last week, we sent milk tea every day, but this week it just vanished from the air!' This attitude of being caught off guard is like an air conditioner that suddenly stops heating in winter - blowing hot air makes people feel drowsy, and blowing cold air instantly wakes them up.

1. Hunting instinct at work

1. Modern interpretation of primitive genes

From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, male ancestors need to test partner loyalty through the strategy of "getting closer and farther". In modern society, this instinct may translate into intermittent loss of contact behavior, just like how wild animals observe and lurk during hunting.

2. The roller coaster effect of dopamine

Neuroscience research has found that uncertainty stimulates the brain's reward system to secrete dopamine. When the frequency of contact fluctuates, it is easy to develop addictive expectations similar to gambling, and this physiological response may be unconsciously exploited.

2. Exploration of Relationship Localization

1. Measuring Instrument for Safe Distance

The "Hedgehog Effect" in psychology suggests that people tend to be close to each other Find a balance between secrecy and independence. Repetitive attitude may indicate that he is adjusting the boundaries of his comfort zone, like constantly adjusting the water temperature of a shower, searching for the perfect temperature point that is neither too hot nor too cold.

2. The Price Gauge for Emotional Investment

There is a concept in behavioral economics called the "sunk cost effect", where when the other party feels that they have paid too much, they will deliberately cool down to observe your reaction. This is similar to pouring coins into a piggy bank and suddenly stopping to see if it will automatically dispense money.

III. Defense Mechanisms of Self Protection

1. Reproduction of Childhood Patterns

Attachment theory has found that early interaction with caregivers can affect parental relationships in adulthood Confidential relationship. If the emotional supply in the original family is unstable, it is easy to form a cycle of "approach escape", like a burnt cat hiding from a stove.

2. Performance of Decision Paralysis

When faced with major choices, some people may fall into the "Brendan Donkey Effect" - a donkey starving between two piles of hay. Hesitation in emotions may stem from fear of commitment, like standing on a diving platform repeatedly trying to jump and then retracting.

Next time you encounter this sudden temperature change in standby mode, why not focus on yourself. True warmth should not be like intermittent geysers, but rather like sustained and stable geothermal energy. After all, in the dance of love, the sexiest step is always when both people can find their own rhythm.