When a child experiences repetition, be patient, have faith in them, and learn how to praise them

When a child throws their newly packed toys all over the floor again, or when they repeatedly make mistakes in arithmetic problems they have learned, many parents can't help but sigh and say, "Why have you regressed again?" In fact, this is not a regression, but a necessary path for children's growth. Neuroscientists have found that when children learn new skills, their brain neural circuits need to go through a repeated process of "establishment consolidation reinforcement". Why do children 'repeat'?

1. The brain needs to practice repeatedly.

When children master new skills, synaptic connections need to be repeatedly activated in order to be stable. Just like a newly built road that needs to be compacted multiple times to be sturdy, occasional "rework" is actually a reinforcement process.

2. Inexperienced memory retrieval

Just learned knowledge is like newly bought clothes, it never fits well the first time you wear it. Research has found that children need 7-12 successful memory extractions to form long-term memory.

3. Emotional impact on performance level

Emotions such as tension and fatigue can temporarily reduce a child's ability to perform. This is not a decline in ability, just like athletes have ups and downs in their form.

2. Three key points for correct praise

1. Describe specific behavior

Replace "really smart" with "just now you took the initiative to help your sister pick up toys, and my mom was very touched". Specific feedback can help children clarify their behavioral standards.

2. Emphasize the process of effort.

Say more "you have practiced repeatedly and finally succeeded" and less "you really have talent". Growth mindset can make children more willing to accept challenges.

3. Avoid excessive praise

You don't have to say "great" every time, nodding or smiling can also convey recognition. Excessive praise can actually lower intrinsic motivation.

3. Practical methods for cultivating patience

1. Set reasonable expectations

Remember the age characteristics of children, and it is normal for 3-year-old children to concentrate for 15 minutes. Adjust the expected value based on the development scale.

2. Establish a progress record

Use photos or charts to record the growth trajectory, and visually see that "although I fell today, I ran three more steps than last week".

3. Parents demonstrate first.

When dealing with things, they say to themselves, "It's okay if I didn't do it well this time, I'll try again. Children will imitate this coping style.

4. What to do when a child "regresses"?

1. Distinguish between true and false regression

First exclude factors such as physical discomfort and environmental changes. Sometimes the so-called regression is only a temporary fluctuation.

2. Provide appropriate assistance

Set up scaffolding instead of doing it for others, such as prompting when arithmetic errors occur: "Do you want to count the third row again?"

3. Create a successful experience

Design tasks that are slightly below your current ability, accumulate small successes, and rebuild confidence. Just like game levels that need to be progressed step by step. The growth of children is never a linear increase, but a spiral progression. Those seemingly backward moments are often the accumulation of energy before the leap. Put down the anxious timer, pick up the patient magnifying glass, and you will find that every flower has its own rhythm of blooming. Remember, the best education is not about pursuing perfect performance, but about guarding the possibility of growth.