What should I do if someone hurts my self-esteem

Being hurt by others can be alleviated by adjusting cognition, venting appropriately, establishing support systems, enhancing self-worth, and seeking professional help. Self esteem setbacks may be caused by negative evaluations from others, social conflicts, long-term suppression, sensitive personalities, past traumas, and other factors.

1. Adjusting cognition

Cognitive restructuring is a key step in coping with self-esteem impairment. When feeling hurt, try to distinguish between objective facts and subjective feelings, and analyze the true intention of the other person's speech behavior. In some cases, the words and actions of others may not be directed towards individuals, but rather reflect their own emotions or cognitive limitations. Practice reinterpreting events from a neutral perspective, avoiding excessive attribution to one's own flaws, which can help reduce the internalization of negative emotions.

2. Reasonable release

Suppressing emotions may exacerbate psychological pain. Release emotions through safe means, such as confiding in a confidant, writing emotional diaries, engaging in vigorous exercise, and other physiological releases. Artistic expression such as painting or music creation can also transform emotional energy. Attention should be paid to avoiding destructive methods such as aggressive venting or self harm, as these behaviors may further weaken one's sense of self-worth.

3. Establish a support system

Social support can buffer psychological shocks. Proactively maintain contact with family and friends who provide positive feedback, participate in interest communities or mutual aid groups. High quality interpersonal relationships provide emotional recognition and help rebuild the self-awareness of the denied part. Regular social activities can prevent falling into isolation, but one should be wary of the tendency to overly rely on others' evaluations to maintain self-esteem.

4. Enhance self-worth

Strengthen self-identity through concrete actions. Set and achieve small goals to accumulate successful experiences, develop professional skills or interests, and establish advantageous areas. Record a list of personal strengths and achievements to combat negative self-evaluation. Self care at the physical level, such as regular sleep and healthy diet, can also improve overall psychological state and form a virtuous cycle of positive self attention.

5. Seek professional help

When self-regulation is limited, psychological counseling can provide systematic intervention. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps correct irrational beliefs, while group therapy can improve interpersonal sensitivity. For long-term self-esteem issues or situations accompanied by anxiety and depression, psychologists may recommend combining techniques such as sandplay therapy and mindfulness training. Professional guidance can more effectively handle deep trauma and avoid the formation of persistent self doubt patterns.

Practice self compassion in daily life and be tolerant of one's imperfections in the way one treats friends. Cultivate a growth mindset and view setbacks as opportunities for improvement rather than denial of abilities. Establish diverse value standards and not overly rely on performance evaluation in a single field. Maintain self-esteem in a long-term diary and record progress, and regularly engage in positive psychological suggestion training. If there is sustained low mood or impaired social function, it is recommended to seek timely evaluation at a psychiatric department.