What psychological motivations are hidden behind habitual belittling of others

When someone shows off their new bag in the elevator, do you instinctively say 'this brand is prone to peeling'? When colleagues report their plans, can't they help but nitpick 'there is a logical problem here'? This habitual behavior of belittling others is known in psychology as the "belittling defense mechanism", and often hides an unknown psychological code behind it.

1. Psychological motivation behind belittling behavior

1. Reverse formation of inferiority complex

Obtaining temporary superiority by belittling others is like giving oneself a psychological anesthetic. Research has found that habitual depreciators have cortisol levels in their saliva that are 23% higher than those of the general population, indicating a long-term state of psychological stress.

2. Unfinished emotional transfer

People who were harshly criticized by their parents during childhood are prone to replicating this critical pattern in their interpersonal relationships. The amygdala, which is responsible for emotional memory in the brain, continuously strengthens this coping mechanism.

3. Lack of social security

Devastating behavior often occurs in competitive environments, which is a manifestation of subconsciously establishing psychological defenses. Just like animals demarcate territorial boundaries by displaying aggression.

2. Identify three typical modes of belittling

1. Professional belittling

Use seemingly professional criticisms such as "the sample size of this data is not enough" to cover up one's knowledge blind spots. These types of people often suffer from severe knowledge anxiety in a certain field.

2. Taste based depreciation

"This decoration style is too tacky" "Wearing this color makes it look black" and other evaluations are essentially confirming self-worth by negating others' aesthetics.

3. Relationship based denigration

in relationships Frequent use of language such as' you can't even do this well 'in confidential relationships reflects a deep fear of losing control of the relationship.

3. Four steps to improve the habit of belittling

1. Establish an emotional awareness diary

to record specific scenes and immediate feelings of belittling others every day. The University of California experiment shows that this metacognitive training can reduce aggressive language by 42%.

2. Practice the "Sandwich communication Method"

Insert a suggestion between two affirmative sentences, such as "This idea is very innovative → execution details can be optimized → overall framework is very breakthrough".

3. Cultivate alternative satisfaction

Release stress through healthy methods such as exercise and creation. When dopamine comes from self growth, there is no need to derive pleasure from belittling others.

4. Conduct empathy training

Deliberately practice the communication mode of "understanding first, then evaluating" every week. Mirror neurons gradually reshape the default response pathway of the brain. The derogatory words that come out of the mouth are actually the inner child's request Rescue. When we learn to express our anxiety in a constructive way, we can truly gain the respect of others rather than fear. Try replacing 'your plan doesn't work' with 'I think this part can be optimized this way', and you will find that interpersonal relationships are undergoing wonderful changes.