What is the psychology of people who are extremely insecure

People who are extremely insecure often have deep psychological defense mechanisms, manifested as persistent anxiety and excessive vigilance towards interpersonal relationships and the environment. This psychological state may be related to factors such as early attachment trauma, long-term negative experiences, low self-worth, cognitive bias reinforcement, and lack of social support.

1. Early Attachment Trauma

The non secure attachment relationship formed between infancy and primary caregivers directly affects the level of security in adulthood. If an individual frequently encounters neglect or rejection when in need of care, the brain will form a cognitive pattern of being untrustworthy to others, leading to pathological dependence or excessive alienation from intimate relationships in adulthood. This group of people often exhibit extreme control over their partner's whereabouts or repeatedly verify loyalty.

2. Long term negative experiences

Individuals who continue to suffer from bullying, belittling, or emotional abuse are prone to developing paranoid tendencies. Their vigilance system remains activated for a long time and interprets neutral information as a threat signal. For example, ordinary discussions among colleagues at work may be misinterpreted as negative evaluations of oneself, which constantly consumes psychological energy and exacerbates social avoidance.

3. Low self-worth

The distortion of core self-awareness is the inherent root of the lack of security. This group of people often hold the misconception that I am not worthy of love and need external recognition to confirm their own value. When encountering setbacks, it is easy to fall into comprehensive self doubt, manifested as pathological perfectionism or overcompensation behavior, such as working hard to escape inner emptiness.

4. Cognitive bias reinforcement

Catastrophic thinking and overgeneralization will continue to worsen security issues. Being late for an ordinary date may be interpreted as a sign that the other party is about to abandon you, and this mindset can create a vicious cycle. Some people may develop compulsive check behavior, such as repeatedly confirming whether doors and windows are locked, which is essentially a controllable ritual behavior to alleviate uncontrollable anxiety.

5. Lack of social support

The weakness of real-life interpersonal networks can exacerbate feelings of instability. When an individual lacks a reliable confidant, psychological stress cannot be relieved through normal channels, which may lead to a tendency towards suspicion or somatic symptoms. Some people may exhibit compensatory behaviors such as hoarding, gaining temporary control through material accumulation. Improving the lack of security requires systematic intervention and gradually rebuilding a healthy psychological defense mechanism. Cognitive behavioral therapy can effectively correct automated negative thinking and identify cognitive distortions by recording emotional logs. Progressive exposure therapy helps reduce sensitivity to potential threats. Mindfulness training can enhance emotional regulation ability and reduce rumination. Establishing a stable social support network is also crucial, and one can choose to join interest groups to cultivate healthy social patterns. Regular exercise can regulate stress hormone levels, and physical and mental exercises such as yoga and tai chi have a significant effect on relieving anxiety. Adding foods rich in tryptophan, such as sea fish and bananas, to the diet promotes serotonin synthesis. Ensure at least 7 hours of high-quality sleep every day and avoid using electronic devices before bedtime. These comprehensive measures require long-term persistence to reshape the foundation of security.