What is the psychology of not wanting to have deep friendships with people

Unwillingness to establish close relationships with others may stem from self-protection mechanisms or personality traits, with common reasons including social anxiety, avoidant attachment, highly sensitive personality, traumatic experiences, and low self-worth. This type of psychological state is not only related to innate temperament, but also shaped by postnatal environment, usually manifested as a cautious attitude towards intimate relationships and strict emotional boundaries.

1. Social anxiety

Some individuals have excessive concerns about social situations, fearing negative evaluations or rejection. This group of people often behave normally in shallow social interactions, but deliberately avoid revealing their true thoughts and prevent potential harm by maintaining distance. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help adjust catastrophic expectations of interpersonal interactions and gradually establish safe social experiences.

2. Avoidant attachment

Early unstable parent-child relationships may lead to the formation of avoidant attachment patterns in adulthood. These people crave intimacy but fear dependence on others, often maintaining a sense of control through emotional distance. Developing healthy attachment relationships requires identifying repeated avoidance behaviors and rebuilding trust through psychological counseling.

3. High sensitivity traits

People with high perception are prone to consuming energy due to excessive empathy, and actively limiting social depth becomes a self-protection strategy. They usually need more alone time to deal with emotional stimuli, and can balance social needs and psychological energy consumption by clarifying personal boundaries.

4. Traumatic experiences

Negative events such as betrayal or bullying can form psychological defenses, making people consider not having close relationships as a safe choice. Post traumatic stress response may lead to excessive vigilance towards the motives of others, requiring professional intervention to process emotional memory and repair interpersonal security.

5. Low self-worth

Doubts about one's own attractiveness can hinder the development of relationships, and individuals may avoid deep contact in advance to prevent exposing deficiencies. Improving self-identity is the key to improvement, which can be achieved by recording positive feedback and developing areas of strength to enhance social confidence.

For situations where social avoidance has been present for a long time, it is recommended to gradually practice from low stress socializing, such as joining interest groups or short-term gatherings. Maintaining moderate socialization can help maintain mental health, but there is no need to force oneself to change one's nature. If accompanied by persistent emotional distress or functional impairment, psychological counseling can be sought to explore a more suitable mode of interaction. Daily practice of mindfulness can reduce interpersonal sensitivity while preserving sufficient alone space for self-regulation. It is more important to maintain openness to the possibilities of relationships while respecting the current psychological state.