We spend our entire lives learning how to 'let go'

Letting go of this matter is never achieved overnight. It's like teaching a child to ride a bicycle. At the beginning, you always have to support the back seat and run, until one day you suddenly realize that you have quietly let go of your hand. The important moments of letting go in life are often accompanied by the pains of growth and the surprises of transformation. Why is it so difficult to let go?

1. The mechanism of loss aversion in the brain

Neuroscience research shows that people feel twice as much pain from loss as they feel pleasure from it. That's why I always want to 'try again' even though I know the relationship should end.

2. psychological dependence on security

Familiar pain is more reassuring than unknown changes. Just like a baby holding onto a comforting object, adults also rely on familiar environments.

3. Cognitive bias of sunk costs

The more invested, the harder it is to get out, which is a common thinking trap of humanity. Gamblers are like this, the workplace is like this, and emotions are also like this.

2. Three areas where one must learn to let go

1. The obsession with perfect parents

Accepting parents is also an ordinary person, they have their own limitations. This is not forgiveness, but loosening oneself.

2. The desire to control children

From feeding and dressing to choosing schools and careers, timely withdrawal requires more wisdom than meddling in everything. A child's independence begins with their parents letting go.

3. Entanglement with regrets from the past

Those thoughts of "if they had been" are like repeatedly tearing open scabs. The true cure is to let the past stay in that summer.

3. The correct way to let go

1. Establish an emotional barrier

Replace "I must" with "I choose" to distinguish between facts and emotions. Writing an emotional diary can help assistants clarify their thoughts.

2. Set a stop loss time point

to change the observation period, such as "try again for three months". Conduct a rational evaluation after expiration to avoid endless delays.

3. Seeking alternative satisfaction

Cultivating new hobbies to fill the gap, endorphins secreted during exercise can alleviate withdrawal symptoms.

4. The wonderful transformation after letting go

1. The occurrence of cognitive restructuring

When one is no longer obsessed with changing others, they can see the essence of the problem clearly. This perspective shift often brings enlightenment.

2. Enhancement of psychological resilience

Every successful release is an exercise in adaptability. Research has found that people who have experienced significant losses have stronger resilience against stress.

3. The emergence of new possibilities

is like tidying up a wardrobe, clearing space to hang new clothes. The surprises of life often appear at the crossroads after letting go. Letting go is not giving up, but withdrawing energy from things that cannot be changed and investing it in places that can create value. The things that must be let go have never truly belonged to us. And what truly belongs to us will stay in a more comfortable way after letting go. When you learn to release your fingers at the right time, life will find its direction of vigorous growth.