Want to escape halfway through marriage? The true voice of middle-aged women is hidden here

While scrolling through my phone late at night, I was suddenly hit by an anonymous tree hole post: "Married for fifteen years, lost in thought in front of the supermarket refrigerator today, suddenly wanting to throw down my shopping cart and run away. Under this dynamic, which is less than a hundred words long, there are actually thousands of echoes of 'the world is another me'. The marital difficulties of middle-aged women often begin with some ordinary moment - it may be discovering that their husband can never tighten the toothpaste cap, or it may be a loud slam on the door during their child's adolescence.

1. Three major signals of marital burnout

1. Daily emotional overload

Previously, trivial matters that could be handled with a smile can now lead to insomnia throughout the night. The breathing sound and WeChat prompt sound of the partner have become sources of stimulation, and the body seems to be equipped with a warning device, always in a state of readiness.

2. Pseudo kinship The secret relationship

maintains the image of a model couple on the surface, but the actual conversation content does not exceed three sentences: "Have you paid the child's tuition?" "The property fee is in the drawer" "I will work overtime tomorrow". Same Strangers who share a bed are more lonely than living alone.

3. Blurred self-awareness

Looking at pre marital photos, one may be stunned: How did that girl who loves to write poetry and travels alone become a "certain mother" who only knows how to circle around the kitchen? This sense of identity devouring often reaches its peak in middle age.

2. The psychological need behind wanting to escape

1. The thirst for autonomy Hope that when women fulfill their reproductive responsibilities and children gradually become independent, their long suppressed self-awareness begins to awaken. Those dreams that I didn't dare to pursue when I was young will become beasts gnawing on my heart at night.

2. Lack of emotional value

Middle aged marriages are prone to fall into the trap of "functional relationships", where joint mortgage payments and raising children become the only bond. When material needs are met, the emptiness on the spiritual level becomes increasingly apparent.

3. Projection of Death Anxiety

Realizing that halfway through life, some people will prove 'I am still alive' by destroying their existing lives. This subconscious self redemption often threatens marriage Presentation in machine form.

3. Attempt to rebuild the possibility of marriage

1. Set up an emotional buffer zone

Set aside 15 minutes of "disclaimer dialogue" time every day, with the rule of only expressing feelings without solving problems. It can be said that 'seeing cherry blossoms bloom today is a bit sad', rather than 'you never understand romance'.

2. Create fresh memory points

Regularly do things that break through daily routines, such as making plans to listen to underground band performances or signing up for two person surfing classes. Common unfamiliar experiences can activate numb perceptual systems.

3. Develop an independent social circle

Participate in women's growth groups or interest clubs to establish other identities outside of marriage. When self-worth is not entirely invested in family, relationships are actually easier to breathe.

Middle aged marriage is like an old cashmere sweater, both reluctant to discard and itching all over the body. But what really needs to escape may not be the marriage itself, but the state of losing oneself in the relationship. Give yourself and your partner a chance to update their version, and you may unexpectedly discover that people who have been together for many years still have unread chapters.