These signals indicate that someone is testing your bottom line!!!

When colleagues always ask you to help bring coffee but don't pay, friends always pay for gatherings, and relatives often ask you for money Behind these seemingly trivial actions, there is actually a signal that the other party is testing your bottom line. Learning to recognize these 'soft boundaries' is necessary to maintain one's psychological boundaries.

1. Common signals to test the bottom line

1. Step by step requirements

Today I asked you to help revise the PPT, but tomorrow I need you to write the report on my behalf. Every time you make a request, it's like boiling a frog in warm water, gradually breaking through your acceptance level.

2. Emotional hijacking rhetoric

Words such as "still not friends" and "not helping with this little favor" are essentially using guilt to manipulate you. Healthy relationships do not require moral coercion to maintain.

3. Selective Forgetting

Borrowed money is "forgotten" to be repaid, and promised things are "suddenly" forgotten. This deliberate forgetfulness is testing your tolerance for unfair treatment.

2. Why do people like to test their bottom line?

1. Effort saving psychology plays a role.

The brain naturally likes to take shortcuts, and if it can take advantage, it doesn't want to work hard. This is a survival instinct left by evolution, but in the wrong place.

2. Obedience testing

is like a reward and punishment mechanism when training animals, where the other party observes your reaction patterns and formulates the next step of getting along with you.

3. Lack of Security

People who lack confidence gain a sense of control by breaking through the boundaries of others, which often stems from childhood experiences.

Three tips for holding the bottom line

1. Delayed response method

When facing non urgent requests, first say "I need time to consider". This buffer period can avoid impulsive compromises and give oneself space for rational judgment.

2. Clarify the principle of exchange

Help is possible, but make equivalent demands: "I can help you make a plan. Can you go for me during next week's client visit?"

3. Learn to politely refuse

"I really can't get away with it this time" is more easily accepted than "I can't do it". The key is to have a firm tone but a friendly attitude.

Fourth, pay special attention to the red alert Newspaper

1. Disgusting Joke

Using your flaws as a joke and blaming you for not being able to make jokes. This is actually a disguised form of mental suppression.

2. Excessive voyeurism Private

questioning sensitive issues such as salary and emotional status may be collecting material that manipulates you.

3. Creating the illusion of urgency

The sense of urgency of "must do it now" is to prevent you from having time to think about rationality. A healthy social relationship should be as natural as breathing, without the need for constant tension and defense. When you start to feel that a relationship always consumes more than it nourishes, it's time to re-examine the boundaries. Remember, true respect never comes with testing the bottom line as a prerequisite.