These jokes can hurt children for a lifetime, parents must avoid them

When a child spills milk, the phrase 'Why are you so stupid' only takes one second to say, but the scratches left in the child's heart may take a lifetime to repair. psychological research has found that some seemingly ordinary jokes are quietly rewriting children's brain neural circuits.

1. The 3 most lethal types of "jokes"

1. Negative personality type

Tags such as "stupid like a pig" and "lazy bug reincarnation" activate the brain's self denial mechanism. Children who receive such information for a long time will experience abnormal thinning of the prefrontal cortex.

2. Threatening abandonment type

Words like "I won't want you if I make trouble again" and "I'll give you to a beggar" will trigger primitive fear. Brain scans show that when children hear these words, the activity of the amygdala skyrockets by 300%. The seeds of obstacles. Clinical data shows that the risk of eating disorders in these children is 4.6 times higher than that of ordinary children.

2. What you think of as humor is actually harm

1. Publicly exposing one's shortcomings

hiding bedwetting, fear of the dark, etc Being a private joke can destroy a child's sense of security. This' social humiliation 'can inhibit oxytocin secretion and affect future interpersonal relationships.

2. Reverse mockery

"How can our young master wear shoes on his own?" Such irony is taken seriously by children under the age of 7. Language comprehension experiments have shown that children can only fully distinguish between right and wrong words at the age of 8.

3. False intimidation

"The police are coming to arrest you" and other jokes can keep children in a state of stress for a long time. Continuous secretion of stress hormones may lead to a reduction of 8% -10% in hippocampal volume.

3. The speaking art of high emotional intelligence parents

1. Error attribution method

Replacing "overturning the bowl again" with "the bowl is too slippery" can protect children's sense of self-worth. This attribution method cultivates stronger resilience in children.

2. Description instead of evaluation

does not say "the painting is really ugly", but "this little dog's ears are particularly interesting". Concrete feedback can stimulate creativity rather than defensive psychology.

3. Humor has boundaries

can make people laugh The piece itself does not laugh at the child's personality. For example, 'Milk swimming on the floor' not only resolves awkwardness but also maintains dignity.

4. What should I do if I say the wrong thing?

1. Apologize in a timely manner

Sincerely saying "Mom spoke too much just now" can repair 90% of emotional damage. When apologizing, squatting down and looking at the child at eye level is most effective.

2. Explain the original meaning

"Actually, what I want to say is Help children understand the true intention behind language and avoid forming incorrect self-awareness.

3. Use actions to make up for

A hug or shared game is more healing than ten sentences of explanation. Physical contact can promote the secretion of restorative hormones.

Those casual jokes are carving the way children see themselves. Changing these language habits may take 21 days, but the positive changes it brings to children will last a whole life. From today on, let every word become a nutrient that nourishes the soul, rather than a sharp sword that pierces self-esteem.