The watershed of 40 year old life: mature social rules that men and women must see

At the age of forty, I suddenly realized that my social circle seemed to have been enchanted - once lively gatherings turned into polite likes, old friend group chats gradually fell silent, and new acquaintances always carried a hint of politeness. At this age, socializing should not be as reckless and wasteful as young people, nor should it be like the elderly completely lying flat. The key is to understand the skills of "precise emotional and time investment".

1. Social quality is more important than quantity

1. Screen the core social circle

Regularly clean up the "zombie friends" in the address book that have not been contacted for three years, and leave 80% of social energy to the 20% of people who can provide emotional value, career support, or growth inspiration to each other. Setting aside a fixed time slot for in-depth communication every week is more meaningful than ineffective socializing.

2. Establish a diversified support system

In addition to classmates and colleagues, there should be parent groups that can discuss parenting, clubs that share interests, and professional communities that explore industries. Different circles are like different nutritional packages, avoiding putting all emotional needs on spouses or individual friends.

2. Communication methods need to be upgraded and iterated

1. Master "adult style dialogue"

Reduce gossip and idle talk, and engage in more informative communication. You can discuss industry trends, share reading experiences, exchange life wisdom, and avoid becoming a "negative energy emitter" that only complains.

2. Learn to say "no" elegantly

Replace vague excuses with "I already have plans for this time", and politely refuse inappropriate requests with "I am better at XX field". Middle aged people's time cannot afford to be wasted, and it is more sincere directly.

3. interpersonal relationships need to be maintained regularly

1. Create "micro interaction" opportunities

Share articles that are suitable for the other party casually, bring small gifts when traveling, and remember important dates to send customized blessings. These low-cost and high emotional intelligence actions are more heartwarming than last-minute connections.

2. Establish a mutual aid relationship

Proactively provide help in one's professional field, while accepting help from others calmly. A mature social network should be like a bank account, where deposits and withdrawals are necessary for a virtuous cycle, and unilateral demands or payments can lead to imbalances.

4. When facing conflicts, one should have a mature attitude.

1. Distinguish between principle issues and trivial matters.

When it comes to principle issues involving values, one needs to have a clear stance, and insignificant small frictions may be difficult to handle. At the age of forty, one should understand that not everything is worth fighting for right or wrong, and learn to leave room for relationships.

2. Handling conflicts requires methods.

First, use the sentence structure of "I observe... I feel..." to avoid using accusatory language. If the relationship cannot be repaired, it is better to leave with dignity than to entangle and consume, and some distance is the gentle understanding of adults. The social wisdom after the age of forty lies in knowing how to spend limited emotional energy on worthwhile people and things. Just like organizing a wardrobe, leaving behind high-quality basic items, eliminating outdated and ill fitting clothing, and occasionally adding a few eye-catching new items. This kind of social circle can accompany us towards a richer second half of life with warmth and dignity.