The truth that emotional mentors dare not say: it is never men who destroy women

When scrolling through phones late at night, one can always see various "emotional mentors" teaching women how to guard against scumbags and manage marriages, but few dare to expose that heart wrenching fact - it is often the mental thorns planted by oneself that truly drag down a person. Those girls who repeatedly fall in love have hidden dangers behind them that are even more secretive than meeting someone unkindly Machine.

1. Over reliance on others' evaluation system [SEP]. This kind of external confidence is like paper armor, which can be pierced with holes in any argument.

2. Misunderstanding accommodation as business

Giving up interests and hobbies to cater to the other person's taste, modifying clothing styles to gain attention, such "self transformation" may gain recognition in the short term, but in the long run, it will actually make the relationship lose its balance pivot.

2. Catastrophic Emotional interpretation Mode

1. Automatic Brain compensation Tragedy Script

Imagining the other person's infidelity without a second's response after sending a message, and directly associating the cancellation of a date with the premonition of a breakup. This magnifying glass style negative interpretation will escalate ordinary contradictions into emotional disaster films.

2. Make temporary issues permanent

A angry remark made during an argument is used as evidence that "he will never understand me". Using an instant emotional outburst to sentence a relationship to death is equivalent to personally shutting down the possibility of communication.

III. Self Sacrificial Emotional Kidnapping

1. Use effort as a control chip

Stay up late to make him a late night snack, save money on buying bags and give him sneakers When these sacrifices become the underlying message of 'I sacrificed so much for you', sweet care turns into a heavy debt.

2. Proving the depth of love through pain

Intentionally displaying a haggard appearance of being hurt by love, subconsciously feeling that the more painful it is, the more genuine the love. This self destructive tendency can actually make the relationship suffocating.

4. Methods for Rebuilding Emotional Immunity

1. Cultivate a pivot outside of emotions

Develop a career or hobby that can bring a sense of achievement, and establish a social circle outside of the best friend circle. When there are multiple pillars in life, the shaking of one pillar will not cause the collapse of the entire world.

2. Establish an emotional buffer zone

When generating negative thoughts, first ask yourself three questions: Does this judgment have factual basis? Is there any other possibility? Can I bear the worst outcome? This little exercise can prevent emotional outbursts. A truly healthy relationship should not be about saving Life straw, but icing on the cake. When you stop seeking a sense of existence in others, the emotional problems that once kept you up at night suddenly become lighter. Remember, it's never someone who can destroy you, but the compromise you allow others to define you.