The truth of marriage: Whether you live well or not depends on yourself

Have you ever noticed that there are always one or two colleagues in the office whose thermos is always filled with the fragrance of wolfberry, and they can brush it on their social media every few days; Marriage preservation Tips; The reposts are often silent like winter snow, but those who truly turn life into poetry often remain silent. Marriage is an exam without a standard answer. Some people make alterations and submit blank papers, while others write essays with full marks on ordinary days.

1. Marriage is not a duet, but a solo yoga.

1. Stop waiting for the other person to change.

Those who always complain that their partner is not romantic enough may lose their passion for life first. It's like holding an empty bowl and waiting for someone to donate food, it's better to learn how to cook by yourself first. 90% of the anxiety in marriage comes from the obsession with placing happiness in the other person.

2. Establish an independent emotional account

Smart couples know how to save money into their own accounts: cultivate hobbies that allow them to immerse themselves alone, maintain a moderate social circle, and maintain a state of continuous learning. When both people have the ability to be self-sufficient, marriage will actually grow more space for free breathing.

2. Looking at marriage under a microscope is better than using a wide-angle lens

1. Reduce detail calculation

Whether to squeeze toothpaste from the middle or the bottom, and whether to put down the toilet seat, these magnified life frictions are like small threads on a sweater. The harder you pull, the easier it is to deform the entire piece of clothing. Marriage requires some '; Myopia "; The wisdom.

2. Cultivate common memory points

Regularly create special moments that belong only to two people: it may be the thunderous movie nights every week, or revisiting the first meeting place every year. These shared memories will be like bookmarks, helping you quickly flip to warmer chapters during emotional lows.

3. Emotional management is the invisible resume of marriage

1. Set an alarm for negative emotions

Allow yourself to be angry, but do not exceed the time of taking a hot shower. True emotional maturity is not about always smiling, but about knowing how to set a shelf life for bad emotions and avoid fermenting temporary emotions into long-term complaints.

2. Establish a safety word mechanism

to agree on a pause code when the conversation is about to lose control, just like a racing driver knowing when to pit for maintenance. This simple action can prevent 70% of arguments from escalating into war, leaving a buffer zone for rational thinking.

4. Three indicators for marital quality testing

1. The degree of comfort when alone

The best time to test marital quality is actually in the quiet afternoon when two people are doing things separately. The comfort of not needing to deliberately find topics is more indicative than flowers on anniversaries.

2. Responding to hazards Observing the first reaction of two people when dealing with unexpected situations: mutual blame or natural division of labor? The true tacit understanding does not lie in the four eyes facing each other during a candlelight dinner, but in who will tacitly touch the flashlight during a power outage.

3. A sense of balance in the center of life

The relationship between health should be like breathing, with shared investment; Inhalation "; Time also has its own development; Exhale "; Space. When marriage becomes a multiple choice question rather than a Single choice question question in life, it is easier to get high scores.

Those enviable marriages, when taken apart, are just countless; Live well for yourself; The combination of ordinary days. Just like evergreen pine trees during heavy snowfall, what matters is not the external temperature, but the inner vitality. When you stop searching for redemption in marriage, you may actually meet a better version of yourself and a better version of us.