The truth behind the weakening of marital relationships: it's not about arguing, but about having nothing to say

Have you noticed that conversations with your significant other are becoming more like work reports? " What should we eat today; " Has the child finished their homework; ——Behind these mechanical conversations, there are more dangerous signals than arguments. When the desire to share disappears, dear A close relationship is like a flame that has been deprived of oxygen, even though it is still burning, it has lost its temperature.

1. Why is silence more hurtful than arguing?

1. Silence is intimacy The chronic poison of secret relationships [SEP]: Quarreling at least represents still caring about the other person's reaction, while silence is not even willing to give emotions. The brain responsible for emotional connections; Default Mode Network; It will gradually shut down when there is a long-term lack of communication, just like muscles that are not used for a long time will atrophy.

2. The quality of daily conversations determines the thickness of relationships

A Columbia University study found that meaningful conversations between partners last less than 9 minutes per day. Those seemingly boring; Nonsense "; (For example, roast about colleagues and sharing short videos) is actually the glue of relationships, which can maintain intimacy more than serious communication Density.

Two or Three Invisible Killers That Deplete Conversations

1. Mistakenly Treating Family as Roommates [SEP]; Anyway, they all understand; As a reason for not expressing oneself, even the most compatible partner cannot read their minds. According to records, 82% of divorced couples admit to it; Gradually losing the habit of sharing daily trivialities; It is the beginning of emotional breakdown.

2. Over reliance on digital communication

Emojis on WeChat cannot replace the curvature of the corners of the mouth when facing each other, and the "" on the screen; Haha; I can't hide the exhaustion in my voice. Neuroscience research shows that the activity of empathy areas in the brain is 40% lower during text communication than face-to-face communication.

3. Treating parenting as the only topic

When conversations always revolve around children, bills, and household chores, the relationship will degenerate into a collaborative parenting office. Try to keep it for 15 minutes every day; Non functional dialogue; Talk to each other about newly discovered music or childhood anecdotes.

3. Practical methods for reactivating conversations

1. Create freshness

Regularly trying new things can inject vitality into conversations, such as learning to cook new dishes together. The brain produces dopamine in response to fresh stimuli, and this sense of pleasure is naturally associated with partners.

2. Establish a dialogue ceremony

setting; Coffee time "; Or "; Bedtime Chat "; The fixed link, but the content should avoid household arrangements. You can play; Three Small Things Every Day "; Game, take turns saying three interesting or depressing things about the day.

3. Upgrade Listening Skills

Use "; And then what; Replace evaluation with paraphrasing the other person's words instead of suggestions. When the other party says'; I'm so tired from the meeting today; Don't say '; Get some rest early; Try asking; Which stage consumes the most energy;. The thermometer of relationships is not the number of roses, but the seemingly meaningless idle conversations every day. Tonight, why not put down your phone and rediscover the magic of conversation with the person you used to talk to. Healthy relatives Secret relationships don't need to be earth shattering, just maintain curiosity about each other's worlds on ordinary days.