The three most devalued behaviors in relationships, women should never do them, otherwise men will not cherish them

Emotions are like a carefully prepared dinner, some people fry steak into charcoal, while others can cook instant noodles to the taste of Michelin. The key lies not in the ingredients themselves, but in the cooking heat and technique. Some behaviors are like squeezing tomato sauce on steak, seemingly adding flavor but actually destroying the authenticity of the ingredients.

1. Excessive effort to please

1. Loss of self effort

When your world is left with only his schedule, even canceling your favorite yoga class for him, this kind of effort will not bring gratitude, but will completely tilt the balance of the relationship. A healthy relationship doesn't require anyone to sacrifice everything for anyone, just like two trees growing side by side, each maintaining independence to share the sunshine.

2. No Bottom Line Compromise

He was two hours late. You said it's normal to have traffic jams on the way, but he forgot his anniversary. Can you help him find a reason for overtime. Every concession lowers one's own value standards, and ultimately he will treat you with the tolerance standards you have set. Setting boundaries is not selfish, but teaching others how to love you correctly.

3. Excessive material investment

It is indeed generous to rush to pay, but long-term unilateral material investment will blur the essence of the relationship. Emotions are not investment banks, the more deposits there are, the greater the return. Moderate sharing is the standard of a mature relationship, making him accustomed to preparing a budget for dates is also a process of cultivating a sense of responsibility.

2. Emotional blackmail type relationship

1. Exchange anger for attention

Intentionally not answering the phone and waiting for the other person to be anxious, turning small things into big ones to test their level of care. This "doing" behavior may yield compromise in the short term, but it will consume sincerity in the long run. Adult love does not need to go through danger Machine drills are used to prove existence, and stable emotional value is a scarce resource.

2. Excessive sharing of negative emotions

Treating a partner as a 24-hour emotional garbage bin, live streaming everything from colleague conflicts to menstrual cramps. Moderate confiding is intimate Secret, excessive venting is consumption. Remember that he falls in love with you as a whole, not just any emotional moment.

3. Threatening communication

"If I break up like this again" is said too much, it will turn into a wolf story. Real departure is always silent, and those threats that are on the lips are just exposing one's own anxiety. Learn to use "I need" instead of "you must", being fragile is more powerful than being strong.

3. Self depreciating Thinking

1. Self doubt caused by blind comparison

Stare at the perfect couple in your circle of friends and reflect on yourself, using internet celebrity standards to demand a bare face. Compared to thieves who steal happiness, what you see in others' lives are retouched images, while your own daily life is live streamed with the original camera. Stop using a magnifying glass to see flaws, every girl has her own unique charm code.

2. Over reliance on the other person's evaluation

When changing to a new hairstyle, first ask him if it looks good, and then post it on social media until he likes it before feeling at ease. When you completely entrust your value judgment to others, it is equivalent to assuming that they have the right to set prices for you. True confidence comes from self-identity, not from others' authentication.

3. Give up on growth and be content with the status quo

Thinking that catching a man means catching a long-term meal ticket, and putting all energy into "holding on" rather than "growing". The most dangerous thing in a relationship is when you are planning for the future and he is planning to leave. Maintaining the ability to be independent at all times is the sexiest state in a relationship. A good love is two complete souls nourishing each other, not two half circles pieced together by force. When you stop these price cutting behaviors, you will find that love that does not require tiptoeing is more long-lasting and comfortable. Just like plants growing naturally towards sunlight, the fate that truly belongs to you never needs to be deliberately pleasing.