The rule of high emotional intelligence: never ask for these two things, no matter how much you love, it will hurt your feelings

The biggest fear in relationships is not arguments, but those seemingly harmless demands that quietly ruin the relationship. Some things are like snow held in the palm of your hand, the tighter you grip them, the faster they slip away.

1. Don't turn security into emotional blackmail

1. Excessive demand for promises

Asking the other party to constantly prove "you love me" is like making a flower count how many petals it has opened every hour. The true promise is the cup of warm water by the bedside in the morning, which will appear every day without the need to swear. When 'Will you always be good to me?' becomes a daily question and answer, even the strongest determination will be exhausted.

2. Real time location based care

The essence of requiring constant reporting of whereabouts is to monitor loved ones as suspects. A healthy relationship requires a sense of breathing, just as plants require darkness. During the occasional hours of being lost, there may be a focused time for picking out gifts for you.

2. Material demands are gentle violence

1. Comparative demands

The killing power of the phrase "other boyfriends give new phones" lies in the simultaneous negation of the other person's ability to give and aesthetic judgment. The warmth of the gift is never on the price tag, but on whether it echoes your casual wishes.

2. Test demands

Intentionally asking for expensive items to test sincerity is like watering a potted plant with a fire hydrant. What can withstand the test is not love, but the other party's bank deposits. The truly precious sacrifice is often an umbrella tilted on rainy days, expensive but silent.

3. Advanced giving is an attraction

1. Create two-way nourishment

When you want to ask for something, first think about what equivalent value you can give. Just like playing on a seesaw, if you only focus on sitting firmly on your own end, the game won't continue. Try changing the sentence structure from 'give me' to 'let's do it together'.

2. Cultivate a mindset of abundance

Focusing on the missing parts can make people overlook the entire garden they already have. Recording the details that make the other person's heart soften is the fixed deposit in the emotional bank. Sometimes it's not about restraint, it's about greater confidence. The best way to get along with each other is the distance between two trees, which not only share the sunshine and rain, but also have their own growth space. When you stop treating your loved one as a tool to satisfy your needs, those truly precious gifts will unexpectedly arrive.