The most taboo thing in marriage is to do something that immediately cools down the relationship. Have you been hit?

Imagine you're lounging on the sofa scrolling through your phone when your partner suddenly puts a cup of warm water in your hand and you say, 'Put it there' without looking up. Is this scene so familiar that it makes people feel uneasy? How many marriages have gone from being together to being silent, often starting from these overlooked moments.

1. Emotional indifference is more hurtful than arguing

1. Silent cold violence

When the other party is enthusiastic about sharing interesting things and swiping their phone, or only saying "drink more hot water" when their partner is sick, these seemingly ordinary neglects can consume emotions like a blunt knife cutting flesh. The mirror neurons in the brain can cause real pain in the neglected, and long-term accumulation may trigger depressive emotions.

2. Delayed demand response

The "emotional account" theory in psychology states that every timely response is a deposit, while ignoring is a huge withdrawal. When the account balance is insufficient, any small conflict can trigger emotional bankruptcy.

2. Why do we feel the most indifferent towards those closest to us?

1. The illusion of security

Many people mistakenly believe that marriage is a relationship that no longer requires effort to manage, without realizing the importance of intimacy A close relationship is like a plant, it will wither without care. The brain will develop inertia towards stable relationships, which is a physiological instinct that requires vigilance.

2. The Trap of Stress Transfer

When work pressure is high, people tend to leave the worst state for their families. In fact, this is a misuse of psychological defense mechanisms, treating partners as emotional trash cans.

Three actions to warm up marriage

1. Exclusive time of 15 minutes per day

Put down your phone for face-to-face communication, which can be a walk after meals or a chat before bedtime. Neuroscience research shows that focused eye contact can promote the secretion of oxytocin, which is a natural affinity Dense catalyst.

2. Establish an emotional response mechanism

When a partner speaks, first let go of the gestures and give facial or verbal feedback. Even just a "hmm" nod can activate the reward circuit of the brain.

3. Create surprise memory points

Occasionally bring a small Dim sum that the other party likes to eat, or write a note and put it into his bag. Dopamine reacts strongly to unexpected surprises, and these small ritual sensations can rebuild emotional connections. Marriage is not an asset that automatically increases in value when placed in a safe, but requires a daily deposit of "change" into an emotional account. Starting today, try to give half of the patience you give to your colleagues to the person next to you. You will find that the overlooked warm details are the true secret to keeping relationships warm.