The most obvious characteristics of people who are PUA

People who are subjected to PUA often exhibit characteristics such as excessive obedience, low self-worth, and social isolation. PUA is an emotional abuse behavior that gradually causes victims to lose their ability to judge themselves through psychological manipulation, commonly found in intimate relationships or workplace environments.

1. Excessive compliance

PUA subjects will unconditionally meet the demands of the operator, even if these demands are clearly unreasonable or harm their own interests. They may give up personal preferences, time management, and even economic control to prioritize each other's needs. This obedience stems from the fear of conflict and the learned helplessness caused by continuous belittling. Some people may experience decision-making difficulties and even need to seek the opinions of the controller on daily matters.

2. Self denial

Victims often exhibit strong self doubt and a tendency to belittle, repeatedly apologizing and blaming themselves for the problem. The operator uses methods such as the gas lamp effect to make them question their memory, judgment, and even reality perception, leading to symptoms of cognitive dissonance. Some people may experience somatic reactions such as insomnia and gastrointestinal dysfunction, but still believe that these are caused by their own defects.

3. Social atrophy

The interpersonal network will significantly narrow, actively distancing themselves from friends and family or refusing to participate in social activities. Operators often isolate victims in the name of "love" or "hello", gradually causing them to lose their external support system. When family and friends raise questions, the victim may defend the manipulator or even cut off contact with them.

4. Emotional dependence

creates a pathological emotional dependence on the manipulator, excessively glorifying occasional acts of goodwill. This dependence is mixed with fear and expectation, forming a psychological mechanism similar to "intermittent reinforcement". Some people may experience separation anxiety, feeling empty and confused when they leave the controlled environment, and have the impulse to return to abusive relationships.

5. Cognitive distortion

forms irrational beliefs such as "victim guilt", believing that being abused is due to not being good enough. This thinking pattern is related to traumatic associations and may be accompanied by dissociation symptoms such as memory blur and temporal perception confusion. Severe cases may develop maladaptive coping strategies, such as excessive alertness or emotional numbness. If multiple of the above characteristics are found in oneself or others, it is recommended to seek professional psychological assistance. Establishing a safe social support network is the first step in rehabilitation, which can be achieved by recording a list of facts to combat the gas lamp effect and participating in group psychotherapy to rebuild self-awareness. During the recovery process, it is necessary to be alert to the operator's "suction back" behavior and seek legal protection if necessary. Regular exercise and mindfulness training can help alleviate anxiety and gradually restore emotional regulation abilities.