The more sensible a child is, the harder it is to be happy as they grow up? Reality is heartbreaking

This child is really sensible "- Children who often heard this sentence when they were young are often more likely to fall into psychological difficulties as adults. Psychological research has found that children who learn to read words and expressions too early will develop a special "pleasing pattern" in their brains, which may become an invisible stumbling block on the path to happiness.

1. The cost behind being sensible

1. Emotional suppression becomes a habit

sensible children often learn to hide their true emotions too early, and long-term emotional suppression can lead to excessive sensitivity in the amygdala of the brain. This sensitivity manifests in adulthood as being angry but unable to speak up, and wanting to refuse but unable to speak up.

2. Low self-worth

When children are accustomed to gaining recognition through "obedience", they will form a thinking pattern of "only by satisfying others can I be worthy of love". This mode is in favor of parents In close relationships, it is particularly dangerous to fall into a cycle of pleasing personality traits.

3. Delayed development of decision-making ability

Children who always wait for parental instructions have insufficient exercise in the decision-making function of the prefrontal cortex. When faced with choices in adulthood, there is often a "choice difficulty syndrome", which is actually a sequelae of early deprivation of autonomy.

Two and Three Dangerous Signs of understanding

1. Never Say No

Children who cannot express rejection at the age of 5 may still be struggling with "how to refuse unreasonable requests from colleagues" at the age of 30. Appropriate resistance period is crucial for psychological development.

2. Excessive empathy

Being able to keenly perceive parents' emotions is a good thing, but if children always prioritize the feelings of others and ignore themselves, this empathy ability can become an emotional burden.

3. Perfectionism tendency

internalizes "being obedient" as a child who "must be perfect", and the brain is in a high-pressure state for a long time. This state persists into adulthood and may evolve into a self critical mindset.

3. How to cultivate "healthy and sensible" children

1. The art of naming emotions

Teach children to say "I'm angry now" instead of "I'm okay". Language expression can help the brain better process emotions, which is a fundamental lesson in emotional intelligence cultivation.

2. Limited Choice Training

Starting from "whether to wear red or blue clothes today", gradually expand the range of choices. Decision making ability is like a muscle that needs to be exercised from a young age.

3. Establish a safe space for making mistakes

Intentionally creating some harmless small mistakes to let children experience that "making mistakes is okay". This experience can effectively reduce perfectionism anxiety.

4. Demonstration of Health Refusal

Parents should say "no" appropriately in front of their children, such as "Mom needs to rest now and will play with you in half an hour". This is the best way to refuse teaching. Being sensible should not be a compulsory course in childhood, but a natural result of mental maturity. Allow children to be willful at their appropriate age, so that they can truly understand how to make themselves happy when they grow up. Remember, children who cry have sugar to eat, but children who always let sugar eat may have forgotten what sweetness tastes like.