The key to learning to chat is to listen to the other person finish speaking

Have you ever encountered a scene in a coffee shop where A just said, "I encountered something special yesterday..." and B couldn't wait to interject, "Oh, I have experience with this too. The seemingly lively conversation actually missed the opportunity for real communication. Modern people can only focus on listening for an average of 17 seconds before interrupting the other person, which is shorter than the attention span of goldfish.

1. Why do we always have to interrupt others?

1. The predictive mechanism of the brain is at work.

Neuroscience research has found that when familiar topics are heard, the brain begins to organize and respond to language 0.3 seconds in advance. This instinct often makes us unable to wait for the other person to finish speaking before speaking.

2. The chain reaction of social anxiety

Worries about awkward silences or excessive desire to show off can lead to speaking up. In fact, moderate silence can actually deepen the conversation.

3. Side effects of electronic devices

The thought pattern formed by frequently scrolling through short videos makes us accustomed to switching our attention focus every 15 seconds.

2. Three levels of high-quality listening

1. Body language response

Slightly leaning forward and nodding at the right time are more sincere than perfunctory "hmm. Pay attention to maintaining appropriate eye contact, but don't stare at the other person too hard.

2. Content paraphrasing skills

Using the phrase "you just said..." to confirm understanding can avoid misunderstandings and make the other person feel valued.

3. Emotional resonance expression

Identify emotional clues in the other person's words and deepen the connection by saying "it sounds like you're excited/frustrated".

3. Daily training for cultivating listening skills

1. Set the phone to do not disturb mode

During important conversations, set the phone to airplane mode. Experiments have shown that even just seeing a phone on the table can lead to a 40% decrease in conversation quality.

2. Play the "3-second delay" game

and force yourself to silently count for 3 seconds before responding after the other person has finished speaking. This simple exercise can significantly reduce the number of interruptions.

3. Record conversation keywords

After the conversation ends, use a few words to review the main content, and persist for 21 days to reshape listening habits.

4. Coping strategies for special situations

1. What to do when encountering a chatterbox

Use "I'll summarize your key points" to gently guide or suggest "Shall we change the topic.

2. When suddenly interrupted,

maintain a smile and say, "Let me finish my previous point first," maintaining boundaries while maintaining grace.

3. The secret to online communication

Before sending a voice message, listen to the complete paragraph of the other person's message, and appropriately quote the previous content when replying in text. The true art of dialogue lies not in speaking fluently, but in preserving space for others to express themselves. Those who can chat the most are often the ones who know how to shut up the most. Try listening for an extra 30 seconds in the next conversation, and you will find that interpersonal relationships are undergoing subtle and beautiful changes.