The greatest wisdom of life: Learn to let go of yourself - those who live well understand this truth

During the insomnia at 3am, are you still repeatedly chewing on the wrong words you said during the day? There are always a few 'black history' photos in the phone album, and every time I flip through them, I wish I could travel back and start over? We are always competing with ourselves, but we forget that the person we should reconcile with in life is actually ourselves. Why do we always make things difficult for ourselves?

1. The Trap of Perfectionism

The default setting of the brain is to focus on flaws. Research has found that people have negative attitudes towards things The memory intensity of the event is positive Triple the number of cases, this evolutionary legacy of "survival alarm" has become a tool for self torture in modern society.

2. The vortex of social comparison

The glamour in friends' circles and the pressure of peers in the workplace silently amplify anxiety. Neuroscience shows that social comparison activates the pain center of the brain, and its response is almost identical to physiological pain.

3. Outdated Self Demands

The belief of "must be excellent" formed in childhood still operates subconsciously in adulthood. Just like wearing shoes that are one size smaller, every step reminds oneself that they are not good enough.

2. Let go of the three dimensions of oneself

1. Allow mistakes to occur

Smashing projects, saying the wrong things, and choosing the wrong path are all standard in life. Cognitive behavioral therapy suggests that accepting imperfection can reduce anxiety levels by 42%. Remember that airplanes also rely on constantly adjusting their flight paths to reach their destination.

2. Accepting stage limitations

It's normal to not save enough down payment at the age of 25 and not become a director at the age of 30. Trees still have annual ring cycles, why demand a constant pace of progress in life? Set yourself a 'progress range' rather than an absolute goal.

3. Stop excessive reflection

No one really cares about that awkward scene. The "spotlight effect" in psychology tells us that people overestimate the level of attention others give us, and in fact, 90% of people forget after a week.

3. Daily Practice of Self Reconciliation

1. Set up "anxiety time"

Set aside 15 minutes each day specifically to deal with worries, and tell yourself that "now is not anxiety time" when distractions occur during other times. This method can reduce invasive thinking by 37%.

2. Establish an achievement list

Record three small things done well every week, even if it's getting up on time. Positive feedback can rebuild self-awareness, just like installing a 'strength amplifier' in the heart.

3. Try a third perspective

Imagine your best friend facing the same dilemma, how would you comfort him? psychological distance can help us treat ourselves more objectively.

4. What do those who live transparently do?

1. Distinguish between controllable and uncontrollable.

Focus on things that can be changed and say "this is not my problem" to the parts that cannot be controlled. This simple classification method can save 65% of psychological energy.

2. Cultivate "good enough" thinking

Completion is more important than perfection, 60 points is 100 times stronger than 0 points. Moderately lowering standards is not laziness, but leaving breathing space for growth.

3. Regular psychological cleaning

clears emotions like tidying up a wardrobe, and expired self blame and distorted expectations should be cleared in a timely manner. Try writing down your troubles on paper and then crushing them. Symbolic rituals are very healing. Life is not an exam, there are no standard answers. Those who truly live a relaxed life only understand early on that being gentle with oneself is not indulgence, but the highest level of self-discipline. Starting today, try to share some of the tolerance you give to others with yourself. After all, we are the ones who will accompany us for the longest time.