The dumbest behavior in emotions, 90% of people have done it when they can't let go

Late at night, I was laughing at myself while scrolling through my ex's social media. The next day, with dark circles under my eyes, I swore, "If you look at his updates, he's a dog." However, at 3am, I couldn't help but click on that familiar avatar - this repetitive and twisting state of jumping horizontally was like trying to scoop water with a spoon. Psychologically, this is called 'compulsive monitoring', but to put it bluntly, it is to find fault for oneself.

1. Inhale memories like oxygen cylinders

1. Overly beautified memory filter

The brain has a cunning function that automatically dilutes pain and amplifies sweetness. The nights of arguments until dawn were compressed into mosaics, while the umbrellas held together on a rainy day were rendered into 4K movies. Try to objectively record the reason for the breakup with a mobile memo, and after three months, you will find that the original 'soulmate' may have been just a hormonal illusion.

2. Treat souvenirs as a lifesaver Life Straw

There are dolls sent by each other on the bed. There are 2000 chat screenshots in the mobile phone, and even half a bottle of leftover men's perfume. These items are like vines in an emotional swamp, the tighter you grip, the harder it is to break free. Why not do a "disconnection experiment": put the three most eye-catching souvenirs into a cardboard box, and you will find that your breathing becomes lighter.

2. Treating breakup as a math problem to solve

1. Struggling with the pseudo proposition of "if it had happened"

constantly reviewing "would it have been different if I hadn't lost my temper that day", like searching for a new continent with an expired map. relationship breakdown is never a momentary decision, but the accumulation of countless subtle cracks. What is worth considering is not 'how to salvage', but the more fundamental question of 'why are people always attracted to their own kind'.

2. Put it new Huandang Band Aid

is eager to cover old wounds with new love, often resulting in wound infection. Studies have shown that people with an emotional gap of less than three months may experience a decrease in satisfaction with their next relationship. This is not to set up a chastity memorial archway, but to remind you that the last relationship that you haven't digested will become a regular explosion of the next relationship Bullet.

3. Show off Pain as a Medal

1. Performance style Sadness

Posting melancholic lyrics with selfies and writing short essays on social media are essentially using pain to create a sense of existence. People who are truly healing are often very quiet, just like those who don't live stream the recovery process every day after getting a bone fracture cast. Try to transform the desire to express' I'm so sad 'into a small achievement of' I had a good meal today '.

2. Treat waiting as performance art

The obsession with "waiting for him to turn back" is equivalent to handing over the remote control of life to someone else. Set a realistic deadline: if he still insists on it after three months, then consider taking action. But most likely, you will find that there are already new life lessons at that time.

The clarity in emotions is not about immediately deleting all memories, but allowing oneself to continue on the road with scars. Those hands that sneak a peek at the latest updates in the middle of the night will eventually be used to open the title page of a new book; Even after the wet pillow is dried, it can still hold up a peaceful night's sleep. What cannot be let go is never that person, but the self who once gave without reservation - and this courage is always worth a better return.