The biggest misconception in marriage: treating husband as a relative? 3 Truths Subvert Cognition

The most dangerous illusion in marriage is probably to automatically classify a partner as a relative who touches their right hand with their left hand. When the hormones in love fade, many people begin to treat their relatives as brothers and sisters Secret relationship - no longer carefully preparing date outfits, too lazy to discuss common topics, and even leaving the worst temper for the closest person. This seemingly stable pattern of family affection may actually become a chronic poison that kills love.

Firstly, the kinship mode will weaken the kinship The specificity of intimate relationships

1. Decreased physiological arousal

Brain scans show that after three years of being together, the neural excitement when seeing a partner's photo will decrease to the level of seeing a colleague's photo. But partners who regularly create fresh experiences have significantly more active brain responses. This means that when treating a partner as a relative, the body will honestly lower the threshold of excitement.

2. The sense of ceremony gradually disappears

Social etiquette is often omitted between family members, but marriage requires a sustained sense of ritual nourishment. A survey shows that couples who maintain dating habits are 47% more satisfied with their relationships than those who live from home. Those who insist on hugging each other when they meet and kissing goodbye when they go out will continue to secrete neurotransmitters in their brains that promote attachment.

2. Family oriented thinking can easily lead to emotional inertia

1. Reduce investment in relationship maintenance

Anger towards loved ones can often be forgiven, but the cracks caused by emotional violence towards partners are difficult to repair. Psychological experiments have shown that every negative interaction between partners requires 5 positive interactions to balance. When treating the other person as a relative, people are more likely to indulge in negative emotions.

2. Neglecting personal image management

78% of couples stop dressing up for each other in the third year of marriage. This mentality of 'anyway, you've seen the ugliest version of me' will accelerate the loss of attraction. Visual stimulation is important for maintaining intimacy Sensitivity is crucial, as the brain's processing of fresh visual information can activate reward circuits.

3. A healthy marriage requires dynamic balance

1. Maintain a moderate sense of mystery

Regularly develop new skills or interests in partners, and extend the shelf life of the relationship by 3-5 years. The brain naturally pursues fresh information stimulation, and moderately preserving personal space can actually create exploration pleasure. Couples who always brush their phones together but have nothing to say are experiencing adaptive numbness in their nervous system.

2. Rebuilding Emotional Accounts

15 minutes of high-quality conversations per day can increase relationship temperature by 32%. You can try the "Three New Things" communication method for specific operations: share with each other the three new details observed that day. This method can stimulate dopamine secretion and break the perceptual inertia of daily life. Marriage is essentially a continuous dance of two people, requiring constant adjustment of pace and rhythm. Treating your partner as someone who needs to be pursued again, maintaining a moderate level of tension and curiosity, may be the secret weapon against the erosion of time. Tomorrow at breakfast, try looking at the person across from you with the same eyes as on your first date?