The biggest fear in relationships is not arguments, but one-sided giving

When I was scrolling through my phone late at night, I was suddenly hit by a private message that said, 'Every time we argue, I always bow my head first, and he's too lazy to even give me a step...' Have you ever experienced this kind of exhaustion on the screen? Once the balance of emotions tilts for a long time, even the sweetest sugar will taste the taste of glass shards.

1. Three Warning Signs of Unilateral Payment

1. Emotional Garbage Bin Mode

In the dialogue box, you are always sending a short essay, and the other party's reply should not exceed three words. The dating plan is always yours to make, even the reconciliation after an argument requires you to take the initiative. This one-way flow of emotions is essentially an overdraft of emotional energy.

2. Self moving Sacrifice

Giving up promotion opportunities to accompany him in a long-distance relationship, staying up late to make handmade gifts for him When the effort turns into a performance of 'you see how much I love you', it can actually make the other person feel suffocated. True love should not be a bargaining chip for moral blackmail.

3. Blurred Bottom Line Syndrome

He forgot the anniversary when you said "work busy, understand", and after cheating, you helped him find an excuse "it must have been someone else who seduced him". The result of stepping back step by step is that in the end, even oneself cannot find where the bottom line is.

2. Why do we fall into the trap of giving?

1. Wrong exchange of security.

Many people subconsciously think that "as long as I give enough, he won't leave". But love is not a supermarket loyalty card, even if you save enough and sacrifice, you cannot exchange it for a permanent shelf life.

2. Dependent on the pleasure of being needed

When "he can't live without me" becomes an emotional pillar, it is easy to become addicted to the role of a savior. This false sense of control is often accompanied by a huge emotional backlash.

3. The sequelae of social discipline

Traditional praises such as "being sensible" and "caring" have led many people to mistakenly believe that patience is a compulsory course of love. In fact, healthy relationships require balance, not self moving hard work.

3. Practical guidelines for rebuilding relationship balance

1. Set up an emotional journal

to record who actively contacts more within a week and who breaks the ice first after conflicts. Break the illusion of 'I thought it was fair' with concrete data and objectively evaluate the true state of the relationship.

2. Cultivate "temporary apathy"

Intentionally delay responding to messages and reject a few instances of on call companionship. Moderate distance can make the other person realize that your presence is not air, but a gift that needs to be cherished.

3. Develop an independent emotional pivot

Sign up for the long delayed flower arrangement class and restart your fitness plan. When you gain a sense of achievement and happiness from other sources, your anxiety about relationships naturally decreases.

Emotions are like a three legged game between two people, with straps that are too tight causing tripping and too loose making it difficult to walk. The best state is to maintain the same rhythm and occasionally tug at each other when stumbling. If you find that you are always dragging the other person along, perhaps you should ask: Is this road worth continuing to bear the burden of moving forward?