Taboos for couples: These 3 behaviors are destroying your marriage, stop them in time!

Have you ever noticed that some couples, despite being in love, live like roommates? Grab the bathroom in the morning, grab the remote control at night, even the last piece of cake in the fridge can trigger a cold war. The ship of marriage is sometimes not overturned by strong winds and waves, but rather pierced by small stones from daily life.

1. Treating complaints as communication

1. The invisible knife in language

"Why did you throw your socks around again" and "I hope your socks can go into the dirty laundry basket" sound like the same sentence, with the former sounding like gunpowder and the latter more like an invitation letter. Research has found that expressions starting with "I" can increase the recipient's acceptance by 73% compared to accusations starting with "you". Try replacing 'you never help' with 'I need us to tidy up the living room together'.

2. Recounting old accounts dialogue

When arguing, bringing up conflicts from three years ago is like sprinkling preservatives on a wound. The brain processes negative memories nine times stronger than positive memories, but repeatedly stirring up pain will only make relationships moldy. It can be agreed that conflicts will be resolved on the same day, and a hug must be used to clear them before bedtime.

2. Using Silence as a Weapon

1. The destructive power of the Cold War

A Cold War lasting more than 48 hours will cause a sudden drop in the temperature of the relationship, and the opponent's brain will default to the "abandoned mode". At this moment, it's not about who is more stubborn, but about who extends the olive branch first. Even just saying 'we need to talk' can break the ice.

2. Avoidant coping

Dealing with all discussions with "whatever" or "whatever" is like pressing the mute button on marriage. Psychologists have found that couples who avoid conflict for a long time are four times more likely to divorce than those who actively communicate. You can start practicing expressing your true thoughts with small things like 'what to eat tomorrow'.

3. Treat the other party as private property

1. Surveillance style interaction

Check phone location and require reporting every minute of travel, this suffocating feeling can turn love into a cage. A healthy relationship requires a "glass wall" effect - transparent to each other but with breathing space. You can try giving each other 3 hours of alone time per week, which can actually improve intimacy Confidentiality index.

2. Transformational Expectation

requires partners to change according to their ideal template, just like forcing a mango to turn into an apple. The basal ganglia of the brain become largely fixed after the age of 25, and forced modification will only result in mutual harm. Learn to distinguish between "principle issues" and "personal habits", the latter can be resolved with humor. Marriage is like a duet, stepping on your feet is inevitable, the key is to find the rhythm again. Starting today, replace 'you should' with 'let's do it together' and 'never' with 'give it a try'. Stick a sticky note on the refrigerator and write 'Thank you for being here today', which can warm up a cold winter night more than an expensive gift.